It was my comment that prompted the post.
I think the bottom line is that how you think about the crying and what actually prompted it is strongly dependent on the relationship between the people involved.
I don't dispute that crying can happen as an emotional release that the spanking triggers. I definitely get an emotional release from being spanked, but it's not usually crying.
However, I have been pushed to the brink of tears by the pain, not by any feelings of being loved or cared for, and I have read descriptions of scenes on other blogs where the amount of pain inflicted prior to the crying suggests that it was not just some emotional release. In my most recent case, it happened within a role playing scene with a pro for whom I had no emotional attachment (and vice-versa). Unless you ask the person being spanked, you don't really know what did it.
I read one description from a woman who likes to make her man have orgasms before she beats him because he cries every time. That made my skin crawl.
However, I do believe that the dynamic described here can be the case. It really depends on the relationship between the two people. I think spanking can be really enjoyable and I really like the stress relief aspect of it. Seeing anyone cry is kind of a trigger for me, but I get what's being said.
Seeing anyone cry is no trigger for me. I see people cry all the time. People laugh and people cry. For me, this is just something that happens and I am completely fine with it.
My clients, especially the ones who go through a divorce, usually start to get teary eyes at one point or the other while we discuss how to proceed.
I have seen many of my friends cry. And in my family, we dont hide our tears from each other neither. My sister cried quite a lot recently, when her boyfriend broke up with her. I saw my mother cry very often and saw my brother crying a couple of times. And even my dad cried in front of me sometimes. I remember one specific moment with him. It was actually quite strange. I had met my dad somewhere, and we both knew the circumstances needed him to appear strong and in control, but he felt helpless and out of control. We talked and he started to cry. I tried to support him as much as I could, and when he was about to leave, he wanted to make sure "the world" would not see that he had cried. We did not have any tissues with us. So, when we were giving each other a good bye hug, he suddenly reached down to my t-shirt and used the bottom of my t-shirt to wipe away his tears. I left the place with his tears on my t-shirt instead on his face. In my mind, it is a very symbolic picture. I have been taught from a very young age on to take care of peoples tears :-)
And in case you were wondering: yes, I do cry too. And many people have seen me cry. Tears don`t scare me.
People have different needs, and I am sure many men can find fulfillment when going to a pro domme. These women are usually super beautiful. And they can pretty much cater to whatever need it is the man is having. I do believe that pro dommes are needed, and in a way I do admire these ladies. Every once in a while I am playing with the idea to become a pro domme, for the $$$$$$$, but I always dismiss the idea again. It is just not what I am and what I do.
Me, I have never spanked a man without any emotional attachment. And I dont want to. I only spank a man if I care about him. I enjoy pampering my man as much as I enjoy disciplining him. I enjoy to be important to him. I don`t like the idea of being exchangeable. I love when his eyes start to glow because he sees me. It is a very good feeling for me to see him happy because I am around. It is a very sad feeling for me though to think that his eyes are not glowing because of me but because of the hair brush/belt/cane/whatever it is I am holding in my hand.
Clinical and cold and brutal canings/spankings, that is just not my flavor of the kink.
My thoughts about him crying:
I give a lot to the man. I am focused on him only. I pay attention to his body language. I try to read his needs as much as possible. I try to understand him. I watch him closely.
I dont wanna beat him so brutally and so painfully that he literally breaks down. That is not what I want at all. And I have never done that. I dont wanna break him down. I just want to break through some of his protective walls.
And if he starts to cry, I see it as a very, very, very precious gift from the man to me. I know how difficult it can be to let the tears come. I understand how many men are taught to NOT show any tears. And if he does show me his tears, if he dares to let me see him cry, Me, I feel warm and loved. In my mind it is a sign that I have done a good job with him, that there is a special bond between us, that he feels save around me. That he trusts me. That he is even willing to go to very unfamiliar places for and with me.