Judging from the stats of my little blog , you all wanna read more about face slaps. Your wish is my command.
I have been asked:
He said he was forcibly resisting being spanked, and that led to him being slapped in the face. I'm interested in your take on that, especially as a lawyer. From a legal perspective, the most logical inference that people would draw from forcible resistance is that consent to the spanking has been withdrawn, making it an illegal assault. Of course, the chances that it would be pursued legally are probably nil. However, that still begs the question of how to DD partners conduct themselves when consent has apparently been revoked.
in that situation of forcible resistance, would you consider consent to be withdrawn, and if so, would you continue to try to force compliance via face slapping or otherwise?
I can say one thing for sure: If I have the SLIGHTEST feeling that the man is withdrawing his consent, I stop whatever I am doing. I am not stopping because of the cops or fear that legal problems might arise. This is not something I even think about. I never even had legal problems in my whole life. In my life, with the relationships that I have, 3rd parties are never a problem. The bond between the man and me is always very strong.
Even today, without having spoken with my ex for about 2 years, I am 100% confident that he would (if actually necessary) throw himself in front of a car for me. And the very same feeling I have with Gregory. Even though we only know each other a very short time, for me it is clear that he would do me no harm and that he cares about my well-being very much. And I care about his well-being very much and would not do any harm to him. We never speak about it because it is so obvious for me.
Gregory and I had a huge as in HUGE argument when I was visiting him. I had done something that led him to believe that I had caused him A LOT of problems. (I had not actually caused any problems, but he did not know that at the time.) He was FURIOUS with me. And I was not exactly happy with him either. His emotions were super raw that night. And despite the feeling of betrayal he was feeling, despite his anger, despite his fear, we still spent the night in the same bed, next to each other. That night he probably had felt like I had stabbed him in the back, and still he let me be close to him. Despite the fact that he felt very much betrayed and hurt by me, he trusted me. And first thing in the morning we cleared the situation and the misunderstandings.
In hindsight, this night and our huge argument that night only strengthened my believe in Gregory and in the fact that he is worthy of my attention and love.
So, if I have the feeling that the man is withdrawing his consent, I dont stop because I fear legal problems. I stop because if he is withdrawing his consent, I immediately lose all interest in "dominating" him. Gregory could tell you that he encourages me often to be strict with him, to punish him and to let my dominant side shine through. And there are times when I am super strict with him. (I will tell you one day about the night when I told him to strip and stand in the corner. I watched him over Skype and let him stand there for 90 full minutes....). I need him to encourage me to be strict with him because I want to be sure that he is actually ok with what I am demanding from him.
If a man withdraws his consent, I see no sense in dominating him anymore. Because what I want from him is a gift. I want the gift of his submission. I want him to be strong, and strong minded and independent, and if he is all that, his gift of his submission to me is super valuable to me.
If I tell my partner in a domestic discipline context to do something, and he does not do it, I feel like a fool, like an idiot. I don`t get angry with my partner, and I don`t want to slap him in the face. I just feel very humiliated and tell myself: "well I am not gonna give him that much power over me again."
From my point of view: the kink is something that we both have to want. Both the man and I need to want to do this. And if he refuses to obey, I am not gonna force him into submission.
In a way, I let him have the power. It´s his decision whether he obeys or not. It´s his decision to resist or not. I don`t want him to test out some boundaries. I don t want him to brat. I am offering him my heart, and it is his decision whether he takes it and obeys or ignores it and shows defiance.