In a well written and very friendly recent comment the following statement was made:
... just to say that you certainly do a good job of enhancing the reputation of your profession - your professional body should give you some credit for that. Here in the UK lawyers are considered to be many things, but caring and compassionate are not usually top of the list..!
I am using this comment to say a few things that I have been wanting to say for a very long time. This blog is not the ideal place for it, because my following words are not kink related at all, but hey, I know quite a few of the readers of my blog are lawyers too, and I guess for the people who think "lawyers suck" it might give an interesting insight in a lawyers soul.
I am tired of hearing statements like: "I usually don`t like lawyers, but you are ok". I have heard it so often in my life and from readers of this blog who wrote it to me in private messages. And it always makes me wanna scream: why do the lawyers always get the blame for people´s own stupidity?
I am a very nice person. I really am. I am a lawyer for over 13 years. And these 13 years have been the hardest years in my whole life. I am fighting on a daily basis to not break down emotionally. It is one of the mentally toughest jobs you could ever do.
Law students and lawyers have much higher rates of depression than those found in the general population.
A 2016 survey of 3,300 law students from 19 law schools found that 17% experienced some level of depression (more than twice the rate seen in the general population), 37% some level of anxiety, and 6% reported serious suicidal thoughts in the past year. Binge drinking was also a big problem – especially for those in the profession for less than 10 years.
A 2016 survey of 12,825 practicing lawyers and judges found 28% reported a problem with depression in the past 12 months of the date of the survey. This percentage is almost four times the rate found in the general population. However, when asked over the course of their career whether they had experienced depression, that number skyrocketed to 46%.
Levels of other mental health issues and substance abuse levels were also significant, with 28%, 19%, and 20.6% experiencing symptoms of stress, anxiety, and hazardous drinking, respectively. Sadly, 11.5% of participants reported suicidal thoughts.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, lawyers rank fourth in suicide by profession.
Just google lawyers and depression and you will find a lot of information.
In my life, nothing had prepared me for the ignorance, aggressiveness, unreflectedness (is this even a word?) and inconsiderateness of my clients.
I live in a small town. I know most of my lawyer colleagues, and almost all of them are actually very fine people.
I am also a member in some lawyers associations. I actually know lawyers from all over Germany and I can tell you: Most lawyers are pretty ok. It´s like everywhere in society, some people are nice, some are nicer and some are assholes.
You got to understand that as lawyers, we are happy when we dont have to fight but when we can solve cases amicably, when we can come to a mutual agreement. (On a side note: In Germany the lawyers even get an extra fee when they settle a case through mutual agreement.) We are happy when things dont get dirty. We are happy when our client and the opposite party come to a mutually beneficial agreement. Mutual agreement means every side can save their face, we can get an extra fee, case is closed and everybody is happy.
I always, ALWAYS, try to solve cases amicably. But in most cases my efforts are in vain.
As an empath I can see -in most cases immediately- what the real underlying issue is. And in my experience , in 95 % of law cases that land on my desk, the problem is not a legal one but an emotional one. People do have unresolved emotional business which manifests itself in a legal battle.
My clients come to me and present a legal problem, but what they are really telling me is: I feel hurt/not respected/not seen/ treated unfairly by the opposing party and I want you to beat them into submission,
The lawyer is seen as a mercenary, as a soldier , who has to destroy the other party. And too many clients are not emotionally able to switch perspectives and at least try to understand the other party. They lack all understanding of their own actions. They dont realize that it takes two to tango. They dont wanna hear that they have a responsibility for the mess they are in. There is zero insight.
And one of the statements I hear on a daily basis is: I want you to write a very harsh/sharp/mean letter to the opposing party /pleading. Dont be soft.
I will give you a few examples of my daily work life:
Divorces are ugly: It is not a urban myth that some people who go through a divorce argue about who gets to keep the toilet brush. I have actually experienced divorces like that. Do you honestly think the lawyers are the ones who initiate shit like that? Let me assure you: we dont.
Tenancy law cases are equally terrible. The amount in dispute is usually ridiculously low, the lawyers actually burn their own money by working on these cases because the lawyers fee in Germany depends on the value in litigation, but the parties fight like their lives depend on the outcome of that law case regarding their disputed service charge statement.
Labor law: I have represented alcoholic clients who have been fired because they got drunk on the job. They told me they needed to keep the job in order to keep their house/condo or whatever, cried in my office, pleaded for my help, I even drove one such client with my brother and my mother to a rehab center. And the result was: He did not even pay my fucking bill in full.
Pedants and dogmatists: I represented Karens who wanted to sue pastors for doing fund raisers. Seriously. I am not kidding.
Probate disputes: One of my clients, his mom passed away 10 years ago, is still suing his twin brother re his mother´s legacy. I have been telling him for 10 years that it is more promising to find a good shrink than filing a new law suit, but he keeps telling me /ordering me, to start new legal actions.
Homicide cases: I had a 16 year old client who was sent by his mom to see me for help regarding a cell phone contract that he had concluded. He showed up in my office alone, and shy and nervous. I felt sorry for the kid. A few weeks later his mom calls me in tears and told me that this kid has killed a 30 yo woman because she refused to have sex with him.
I could go on for hours....I have worked about 1700 cases so far, be assured that I have seen it all.
It fucked with my mind and soul. It hardened my heart. It affects my way of dealing with people. It made me tired, overwhelmed, and sad.
You might say: well , why are you taking on these cases?
The answer is: When I started law school I did not realize in what a horrendous job I would end up. I liked the idea of helping people, of supporting them and being there for them when they are in need.
Now the law firm is set up, I feel stuck and I got bills to pay.
It was a very unfamiliar feeling for me when I received a few gifts related to the line writing event a few weeks ago. I knew the guy who gave me the gifts wanted to make me happy. It felt wonderful to be for once appreciated for my work (in this case: as a strict task mistress). I hadn`t received any gifts from anybody in a very log time
People give a shit about lawyers and their feelings and their need to have their own bills payed too. There is this myth that all lawyers are super rich, but in reality, at least in Germany, they are not. I know, the situation in the US is different in some aspects, but here in Germany lawyers have to work frigging hard just to make a living.
And on top of it, even friends and people who like me tell me: "I don" t like lawyers"
And this pretty much sucks!
