Quick hi to let you know that I am still around :-)
Unfortunatelly, there is not much left for me to blog about, because all men I interact with tell me: "Please don't blog about me. Dont mention me, don't make a reference to me, nothing!"
These demands make it impossible for me to write about kinky stuff that I am experiencing. The man is an important part in my experience, and me being forced to not bring up the man at all feels quite limiting and restricting.
And quite honestly: It makes me feel pretty sad that the men even feel a need to put that restriction on me. It triggers old feelings of not being seein. My point is: These men, they can and sometimes are following me here on my blog for over a decade.
I present myself as vulnerable as possible. There is a discrepancy right from the beginning, with me being vulnerable and them being anonymous. But that's ok, I can generally deal with it. Making myself vulnerable is usually a good way of showing the other person: you can show your vulnerability too, to let them know: you are safe with me.
When I meet a guy and have him over my knee and spank him, I assume that he feels safe with me. I assume that he trusts me. I assume that he knows that I would never do anything to intentionally cause him pain. But we all know it is not smart to assume stuff, lol.
I feel like: When the men tell me not to blog about them, they are also telling me: "I dont trust you to keep me safe." And that feels strange to me, in light of them knowing who I am and them knowing my deepest thoughts that I am publishing here on the blog for years now.
I think in the future I might need to create a different disciplinarian website. So that there is no link between my disciplinarian facets and my personal blog here. That's strange in a way, because pretty much all men who contact me want a personal and authentic relationship with the woman who spanks them. But at the same time it is my experience that too much personal knowledge of my private life can be a disadvantage.
We will see what the future brings. I had a very promising encounter with a guy recently. I have to be vague here, but the gist of it is: I like him and I watched him getting caned and spanked heavily. It was in an FM/M scenario and I had a lot of fun. He does not know who I am, and does not know this blog here. I told him I write a sex blog, he wanted the adress, but I did not give it to him.
