a safe and holy place

I told my shrink recently about my blog and about you guys. And it seems like she liked to hear the colorful stories that I could tell.  :-) It seems like she enjoys the break from the usual stories that her depressed clients tell her. In the sessions with me, even though I can be pretty depressed myself, we nevertheless laugh a lot too.

It´s nice for me to have somebody who I can freely share my experiences with. And in sharing my stories with her I get to know myself and my own needs much better, It is a very fruitful relationship.

I told her about the German guy, a very good soccer player, who came to see me in my office and who had to do push ups right next to my desk. I was sitting on my desk, working on legal papers, while he had to do endless push ups for me. After a while, when he was completely exhausted, I allowed him to get up and to stand in the office corner. I later made some phone calls while he had to stand motionless in the corner. 

He was also very much into writing lines. He loved and hated it at the very same time. One day he was sitting on a table in my office, writing punishment lines for me, when my secretary unexpectedly entered the room. He was trying so frantically to hide the lines, and his face got all red, I had difficulties not to laugh out loud :-)

I told her about the danish slave who asked me to inflict pain on him, It was a long distance thing, and I could not actually spank him or touch him. He ended up kneeling on rice for me and it was just wonderful. For both him and for me.

I told her about the md from the States who is highly successful in a very demanding job. He has written lines for me and served me so dedicatedly that just thinking at him makes me happy.

And in telling her all these stories I realized once again what a wonderful thing my blog is. This blog has literally opened a whole new world to me. The blog and the people I met through this blog give me hope in times of trouble and give me faith in humanity in general.

It is sometimes said that the internet is a dark place. But my experience is the opposite. This blog and the people I met through this blog have brought nothing but joy and color in my life. I have met so many wonderful men, I couldnt have imagined how important that blog would become for me.

I met my first boyfriend here, I got clients through this blog, I made friends here, and I found people who are willing to support/help me when I need it.

The wonderful thing with my little blog is that people can be who they are. I wanna know what they feel, crave and what they think. I wanna know what drives them and what scares them.

I learned that making myself vulnerable allows people to make themselves vulnerable around me. And that is a wonderful thing.

This blog here allows me to show my vulnerability. And my courage to do so has never been disappointed. I feel very blessed to have such a safe and almost holy place to go to. Thank you to all of you who are with me here. I appreciate you being here with me very much.