Merry Christmas and a Look Into the New Year!

The most wonderful time of the year is here! Christmas is just around the corner – a time for joy, gratitude, and hope. I want to take this opportunity to wish you a very Merry and Blessed Christmas. I hope you spend these special days with your loved ones, savor the small and big moments, and let yourself be enchanted by the magic of this season.

As the year draws to a close, it’s the perfect moment to pause and reflect. What was your personal highlight this year? Were there challenges in your relationships you overcame? Or moments where you felt truly connected and understood?

Looking ahead to 2025, I invite you to think about your resolutions, especially when it comes to personal growth and deeper connections. For those exploring the world of dominance and submission, female -led relationships or other intimate dynamics, what are your goals for the coming year? Is it about communication, trust, learning, or simply enjoying the journey?

Feel free to share your thoughts and ideas with me in a private message – I’m excited to hear how you plan to shape the new year in your relationships and personal journey. Together, we can inspire and motivate each other!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support, your messages, and the wonderful community we’ve built here together. You are what makes this blog so special.

Merry Christmas and a fantastic start to 2025!

Tina

Good F/M power exchange video

Finding good F/M  power exchange videos can be a real challenge. 

A lot of the videos out there either exaggerate the power dynamic or don't show the real emotional depth that makes power exchange interesting. 

It’s hard to find content that feels authentic, where both people are showing trust, vulnerability, and real connection.

Recently, I found a video that worked for me. 

If you’ve been looking for something that feels sort of genuine, this video might be just what you need.

Here is the link: Debra is the Governess: Spanking Femdom Porn | xHamster

The Art of Setting Boundaries: Why It’s So Hard for Me—and Why I Keep Trying

If you’re anything like me, you know that setting boundaries can feel impossible sometimes. It’s not just about knowing where your limits are; it’s about finding the courage and clarity to voice them. I’m not good at it yet. I wish I could say that I have it all figured out, but the truth is I’m still figuring it out. It’s a work in progress, and most days, it feels like an uphill battle.

One of the biggest challenges I face is my people-pleasing nature. I want everyone to be happy, to keep the peace, and to avoid conflict at all costs. But in trying so hard to make others comfortable, I often end up forgetting about myself—and my own needs. That’s where things get complicated, especially in my relationships.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot about D/s, and it’s been both cathartic and eye-opening. In the context of D/s, I’m drawn to the idea of the man submitting—yielding control, giving up power willingly. It’s almost like a counterpoint to the constant power struggles I feel in my own life. It’s difficult to admit, but in so many of my personal interactions, I feel like I’m engaged in an endless tug-of-war for control, and it’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. It really sucks.

But writing about D/s has helped me sort through my feelings. It’s helped me step back and understand that I crave a space where boundaries are clear, where there’s an unspoken agreement that everyone’s needs are respected. It reminds me of what I want for my own world—a place where I don’t have to fight for my voice to be heard, where my feelings matter as much as anyone else’s.

Part of why this is so hard for me is because of how deeply ingrained my people-pleasing tendencies are. From a young age, I learned that saying “no” or putting myself first was selfish, that prioritizing my own needs could lead to conflict or rejection. That mindset has stuck with me, and even when I know that it’s important to speak up for myself, I feel the pull of old habits, telling me to keep quiet or go along with what others want.

In D/s, I’ve found a space where boundaries are not just respected but essential. It’s a framework that emphasizes clear communication and consent—something I’m trying to carry over into my everyday life.

My latest book is perhaps the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It’s not just fiction; it’s an exploration of my own desires and the boundaries I wish I could assert more freely. Writing about D/s has helped me confront these deep-seated feelings, shaping my understanding of what it means to express my limits and acknowledge my needs without shame.

Setting boundaries isn’t just a practical matter; it’s an emotional one. It’s about reclaiming my sense of self, telling myself that I matter and that my feelings deserve to be respected. But it’s also about more than just self-protection; it’s about creating a space where I can truly exist without the constant weight of trying to please everyone around me.

I’m learning to take small steps toward expressing myself more clearly. One practice that’s been helpful is identifying what I need in specific situations and voicing it, even if it feels uncomfortable. Whether it’s a simple “no” or explaining how I’m feeling, 

I remind myself that I don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing to care for myself. It’s not easy, and I still fall back into old patterns, trying to regulate other people's feelings, more often than I’d like.

 But each time I try, I feel a bit more confident in my ability to assert my needs and to set the boundaries that help me feel safe and respected.

I’m not done learning how to set boundaries. I’m not perfect, and I still struggle with my people-pleasing nature every day. But I know that I’m making progress, even if it’s slow and uneven. Each time I take a step, no matter how small, I’m reclaiming a piece of my power.

Celebrating the Amazing Community Behind This Blog

Over the years, one of the most incredible things I’ve come to appreciate is the community of readers that have found their way to this small, relatively hidden corner of the internet. It’s easy to forget sometimes just who is reading this blog, but when I take a moment to reflect, I realize how truly amazing and diverse my audience is.

I’ve made connections all over the United States, from people in vastly different fields and areas of life. The conversations and collaborations that have come from these interactions have been nothing short of enriching. You are the reason this blog has remained such a fulfilling part of my life.

I also think there’s something special about the fact that this blog remains relatively small and somewhat hidden in the vastness of the World Wide Web. The limited visibility helps keep the audience focused on those who are truly passionate about "this thing we do". It’s a group of readers who take the time to engage deeply and thoughtfully with the content, making each comment and message feel like a meaningful conversation.

One of the things that makes this space unique is the deliberate absence of pictures. By keeping things simple and focusing solely on the written word, I’ve been able to attract readers who truly appreciate the power of thoughtful, intellectual engagement. This blog has become a place for people who value deep conversation and the exchange of ideas, rather than being drawn in by flashy visuals or fleeting trends. It’s this community that makes this space so special—people who are committed to substance over surface.

So, to all of you—thank you. Your feedback, your questions, and your continued support mean more than I can say. You’re not just readers; you are partners in this journey, and I’m beyond grateful to have such a thoughtful, intelligent, and wonderful group of people following along.

Here’s to many more years of thought-provoking exchanges, learning, and growing together.

Thank you for being a part of this!

a very personal post

This might be one of the most personal texts I have ever written....I use Marc and Julia to express it, but in reality it is all about me.

Marc sat across from Julia at the small table in their favorite restaurant, the soft glow of the candlelight casting flickering shadows across the room. They had just finished dinner, and the quiet hum of the evening seemed to wrap around them in a comfortable, familiar embrace.

For the first time in a while, Marc felt a sense of calm that had nothing to do with the external world. The business, his personal life, everything seemed to be falling into place, and it was in large part because of Julia.

As they sipped their wine, a thought began to settle in Marc’s mind—a thought that had been quietly lingering for weeks. He had been so focused on how Julia’s structure and discipline had transformed his life, but now he was starting to wonder: What was it that drove her? What was it that had made her invest so much time, so much energy, and so much care in him?

There was something deep and steady about Julia, something that he had always admired, but now he was beginning to realize just how much of herself she had poured into him. She wasn’t just a lawyer, a professional, or even a partner. She was something more. And Marc wanted to understand it better.

He took a deep breath and set his glass down, meeting her eyes across the table. Julia, sensing his shift in focus, set her own glass aside, her gaze steady and expectant.

"Julia," Marc began slowly, his voice quieter than usual. "I’ve been meaning to ask you something. You've put so much energy into me—into us, really. But I keep wondering: What’s driving you? Why have you given so much of yourself? I mean… back then, when I was so wrapped up in my own world, what did you see in me? What was it that made you take me under your wing and invest all this time and care into me?"

Julia didn’t speak right away. Instead, she leaned back slightly in her chair, her fingers idly tracing the edge of her wine glass. Marc’s question hung in the air between them, heavy and sincere. She was thoughtful for a moment, her gaze distant as she considered his words.

Finally, Julia’s lips curved into a small, almost imperceptible smile. “You know, Marc, I’ve been asked that question before, but it’s never really been one I could answer easily. It’s not something that I’ve given much thought to in those exact terms. But I suppose if I really look at it, the answer is a bit more personal than you might think.”

Marc nodded, his curiosity piqued, but he said nothing. He wanted her to speak freely, without rushing her.

Julia took a slow sip of her wine, her eyes steady on him as she began to speak, her voice calm and measured. "When I was younger, I had to be in control. I didn’t really have a choice. My family… wasn’t stable. There was always something. Things that were too big, too messy, to be handled by anyone but me. I had to manage things that no child should have to. I learned early on how to keep things together, how to take charge and try to fix things that were unfixable. It became second nature."

Marc could hear the unspoken weight in her words, the quiet pain and resilience that she never allowed to show. It was a side of Julia he hadn’t fully understood, not until now.

She continued, her voice softening with each word. "I got good at it—too good, maybe. And then, as I grew older, I became a lawyer. I thought that being in control would finally bring me peace. But what I’ve found is that I’m always in problem-solving mode. Every day, every client, there’s always something that needs fixing. The whole world comes to me for answers, to help manage the unmanageable. And in many ways, I’m still that person—the one who takes charge, who fixes things."

Marc listened intently, taking in every word, the pieces of Julia’s life fitting together like fragments of a puzzle. He had always known she was strong, that she had a certain quiet power about her, but now he understood the depth of it. Her need to be in control wasn’t just about authority; it was about survival, about finding structure in a world that had once been chaotic.

Julia’s expression shifted slightly as she leaned forward, her gaze locked with his. "But here’s the thing. In my work, I’m always bending backward for my clients. I’m always trying to be flexible, accommodating their needs, adapting to whatever they throw at me. I’m their firefighter, their problem solver, their support. And while I love what I do, there are times when I need something for myself, too."

Marc’s heart skipped a beat as he realized where this was headed. He had seen the meticulous way Julia had structured his life, the boundaries she had set, the way she guided him with such care and consistency. It wasn’t just about her controlling him—it was about giving her the space to feel in control of something in her own life, something that was hers, something she could shape in her own way.

"In the relationship with you, Marc," Julia continued, her voice steady, "I can be in control. I can have things my way, without the constant need to accommodate anyone else’s expectations or desires. And there’s a certain peace in that. I can guide you, I can help you grow, and I know that it’s working. I see the changes in you, in how you’re becoming a better version of yourself. That… makes me feel good. It’s not about control for control’s sake. It’s about being able to create something positive, something meaningful."

Marc was struck by her words, by the raw honesty she was sharing. He had always respected Julia, but now, hearing her explain the reasons behind her actions, he found a new sense of admiration for her. She wasn’t just powerful; she was human—deeply human, with her own struggles, her own need for balance.

"So," Marc said, his voice quieter than before, "it’s not just about me being your project. It’s about us finding a way to balance everything, for you to have something that’s yours. Something that you can control, in your own way."

Julia’s smile was softer now, more genuine. She reached across the table, her hand resting lightly over his. "Exactly. You’ve become more than just someone I’m helping. I’ve learned to trust you, to let you grow, and in turn, I’ve found something I didn’t realize I was missing. A sense of control, but also a sense of connection."

Marc squeezed her hand gently, feeling a deep sense of understanding settle over him. For the first time, he realized just how much they had been helping each other—how their relationship, built on guidance, respect, and mutual understanding, had evolved into something that nurtured both of them.

"You know," he said with a slight chuckle, "I never really thought I’d be someone who needed guidance. But now I can’t imagine not having it."

Julia’s smile deepened, and she gave a slight, knowing nod. "We all need it, Marc. In one way or another."

And in that moment, as they sat together, Marc understood. Julia’s need to be in control, her desire to guide him, was not just about authority—it was about finding balance in her own life. And in helping him, she had found something powerful, something fulfilling.

Marc realized that their connection wasn’t one-sided. They were both learning, both growing, and together, they were building something stronger than either of them had expected.

New D/s book

I’m thrilled to finally share something I’ve been working on for a while—my brand new book, and it’s only $7!

If you’ve been enjoying my blog and the way I explore deep relationships, intimacy, and the dynamics of power exchange, you’ll definitely want to pick up a copy of this one. It’s an exploration of Tina and Eric’s D/s relationship, and I think you’re going to love it.

What’s the Book About?

Tina and Eric’s journey is a deep dive into a Dominance and submission dynamic, filled with trust, vulnerability, and a whole lot of intensity. If you’re into exploring the complexities of power exchange, control, and the beauty of submission and dominance in a relationship, this book will take you on a ride you won’t forget.

It’s the kind of story that will make you think about what power, control, and intimacy really mean in a relationship.

Here is the Link New D/s book on Tina and Eric

a good F/M spanking/caning video

In a world overflowing with boring M/F content, finding a truly captivating and hot F/M domestic discipline video can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. 

Recently, I stumbled upon a gem that I just had to share. Though it’s a few years old, it caught my attention and left a lasting impression.  It totally worked for me. I enjoyed every second of it :-)

 If you’re looking for some really no-nonsense F/M content, I highly recommend giving it a watch. Trust me, you won’t regret it!

Here is the link, it's on spankingtube: good F/M video

The -not so-secret dynamic

Eric sat in the hospital cafeteria, sipping his coffee while chatting with a few colleagues during their break. The conversation flowed easily among the group of doctors, each sharing stories from their day. But as the discussion turned personal, he felt a sudden wave of warmth creep into his cheeks.

“Hey, Eric,” one of his colleagues, Mike, smirked. “Are you still dating that dominant lawyer? What’s her name again? Tina?”

Eric’s heart raced, and he instinctively looked down at the table, suddenly self-conscious. He hadn’t realized their dynamic was so easily recognizable to his friends. “Uh, yeah,” he replied, trying to sound casual but failing miserably. “Tina.”

The others exchanged knowing glances, their interest piqued. “You know, it’s pretty obvious how much she keeps you in line,” another colleague chimed in, chuckling. “I mean, you’re a successful doctor, but she definitely seems to wear the pants in that relationship.”

Eric felt his face flush even deeper. “It’s not like that,” he stammered, feeling defensive. But deep down, he knew that there was truth in their teasing. He loved Tina’s strong presence and the way she guided him; it was something he had come to cherish.

“Come on, man,” Mike said with a grin. “It’s okay to admit it. You’re a respected MD, but you seem a bit… well, submissive when it comes to her. Do you actually like being told what to do?”

Eric squirmed in his seat. “I mean, it’s complicated,” he finally said, glancing around to see if anyone else was listening. “Tina and I have an understanding. She keeps me grounded, and I appreciate that.”

“Sounds like a classic dominant/submissive relationship,” another colleague added, nodding knowingly. “You might not want to admit it, but it suits you. I can’t imagine you trying to be the boss at home after a long day at work.”

Eric sighed, knowing they were right. The truth was, he found comfort in Tina’s strong leadership. It allowed him to step back from the pressures of his job and embrace a different side of himself—one that didn’t have to be in control all the time. “I guess you could say that,” he admitted, his voice softer. “She really cares about me and holds me accountable.”

“See? You’re not just some tough MD,” Mike teased. “You’ve got a soft side, and it’s nice to see. Just don’t forget to take off your shoes when you get home.”

The group erupted into laughter, and Eric couldn’t help but join in, even if it was through a mix of embarrassment and amusement. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” he said, shaking his head. “I’ll remember that.”

As the laughter subsided, Eric reflected on the conversation. He was grateful to have colleagues who accepted him, even if they teased him about his relationship. The dynamic with Tina was something he cherished, and he felt proud to be with someone who brought out a different, more vulnerable side of him.

“Just remember, man,” Mike said, leaning back in his chair, “being with someone like Tina isn’t a weakness. It takes strength to let someone else lead, especially when you’re used to being the boss.”

Eric met his friend’s gaze and smiled, feeling a renewed sense of confidence. “Thanks, Mike. I really appreciate that.”

As they finished their break, Eric couldn’t shake the warmth of the conversation. He might blush at the teasing, but he knew that being with Tina was a choice he embraced wholeheartedly. It was a partnership built on trust, accountability, and love—a dynamic that made him feel more alive than ever.

Walking out of the cafeteria, he felt lighter, ready to face the rest of his day. And when he got home, he would take off his shoes—just as Tina expected.

The stain of forgetting

As Eric stepped into their apartment, the comforting scents of home-baked German cake filled the air. It had been a long day at work, and all he wanted was to relax. But as he walked into the living room, the familiar rule echoed in his mind: take off your shoes.

But it was too late. He looked down and saw the dark mark on their beautiful white carpet. Panic gripped him. He knew how much Tina valued that carpet, and dread washed over him.

“Tina!” he called, urgency creeping into his voice. “I messed up!”

Tina emerged from the kitchen, her eyes widening before narrowing in anger. “Eric! What have you done?” she exclaimed, her tone sharp.

“I’m so sorry,” he stammered, guilt flooding through him. “I didn’t mean to—I just forgot.”

“Forgot?” she echoed, disbelief etched on her face. “How many times have I told you to take off your shoes before you come inside? This isn’t just a suggestion! It’s a rule!”

Heat rushed to Eric’s cheeks. “I know, I know. It’s just been a really long day, and I wasn’t thinking.”

Tina stepped closer, her tone firm and unwavering. “A long day is no excuse, Eric. I expect you to be mindful when you come home. You’ve heard me say it over and over again. This carpet is important to me, and you need to show that you care about our home too.”

“I do care! I just—” he began, but she cut him off.

“No, you don’t,” she said firmly. “If you really cared, you wouldn’t have made such a careless mistake. This shows a lack of respect, and that’s unacceptable. Do you understand how frustrating this is for me?”

His stomach twisted at her words. He wanted to defend himself but knew she was right. “I really didn’t mean to disrespect you, Tina. I just got distracted,” he said, trying to convey his sincerity.

“Distraction is not an excuse! You need to pay attention!” she continued, her voice rising. “I can’t have you walking around here like it doesn’t matter. It’s your responsibility to follow the rules I’ve set. This isn’t just about cleaning up a stain; it’s about understanding why those rules exist.”

Eric swallowed hard, feeling the weight of her disappointment. “I understand. I’m really sorry. I’ll clean it up right now.”

Tina shook her head, her expression serious. “You can’t just brush this off like it doesn’t matter. You need to face the consequences of your actions.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, anxiety creeping in.

“I mean you need to acknowledge what you’ve done. First, take off your shoes, then get the cleaning solution. I want you to scrub that stain thoroughly. After that, you’re going to stand in the corner and think about how you can prevent this from happening again,” she instructed, her tone resolute.

Eric felt a chill at her words. Standing in the corner was something he hadn’t expected. “But—”

“No excuses,” she cut in sharply. “You need to reflect on how you can be more mindful in the future. I won’t tolerate carelessness.”

With a deep breath, he removed his shoes, feeling the cool floor beneath his feet. He grabbed the cleaning supplies and knelt to scrub the carpet, his mind racing. He didn’t want to let her down again.

As he worked, Tina watched closely. “I want to see you take this seriously, Eric,” she said, her tone unwavering. “I need you to be present and aware.”

“I understand,” he said, focusing on the task. “I’m sorry for not respecting your wishes.”

“Sorry isn’t enough,” she replied. “You need to show me through your actions. This isn’t just about the carpet; it’s about you not following the rules in our house.”

When he finally finished, the carpet looked spotless again. He stood up, feeling a mix of relief and determination.

Tina approached, inspecting his work. “Better,” she said, her expression softening slightly. “But remember, this isn’t just about cleaning. It’s about being accountable.”

“I will remember,” Eric replied, his voice firm. “I’ll do better in the future.”

“Now, go stand in the corner,” she instructed, pointing to the spot in the room. “I want you to think about how you can improve and what this lesson means.”

As he walked to the corner, Eric felt a lump in his throat. Standing there, the silence felt heavy. As the minutes ticked by, shame washed over him, and tears began to well up in his eyes. He felt terrible for letting Tina down and for not observing her simple rule. His mind raced with thoughts of failure and embarrassment, and the frustration of not obeying her rule made the tears spill down his cheeks.

He bit his lip, trying to stifle the sobs. He was embarrassed to be standing there crying, but he also knew it was part of the process. He needed to feel this moment fully to understand the weight of his actions.

After what felt like an eternity, Tina’s voice broke through the silence. “You can turn around now.”

Eric turned, his cheeks wet with tears. He looked at her, feeling vulnerable and exposed. “I’m so sorry, Tina. I really hate letting you down.”

She stepped forward, her expression shifting to one of concern. “I know it’s hard, Eric, but this is part of learning. I need you to understand why following the rules is so important.”

“I do understand,” he said, his voice trembling. “I just got caught up in my own head. I never wanted to disrespect you.”

“Good,” she replied softly, reaching out to wipe away a tear from his cheek. “I appreciate your honesty. We all make mistakes, but it’s how we grow from them that matters.”

Tina stepped closer, wrapping her arms around him. “You’re forgiven. All is good now.”

Eric melted into her embrace, feeling the tension seep out of his body. “Thank you for being patient with me,” he murmured against her shoulder.

“I know you’re used to being in control, but it’s okay to let me lead sometimes,” she said gently, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “This dynamic works because we both care. You need to trust that I’m here to guide you.”

He nodded, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude. “I really do appreciate how you hold me accountable. It helps me be better.”

“Exactly,” she said, her voice warm. “I love you enough to guide you. It’s part of our dynamic, and it’s important to me that you understand that.”

Eric took a deep breath, feeling lighter. “I’ll do better, I promise. I don’t want to let you down again.”

“It's ok, honey” she said firmly, squeezing his hands in hers. “You don't have to be perfect. We’re in this together. Just remember to take your time and be mindful. That’s all I ask.”

As they stood together, the earlier tension melted away, replaced by a renewed sense of connection and understanding. Eric felt grateful to have Tina in his life, guiding him through the ups and downs.

“Let’s put this behind us,” she said, a smile returning to her face. “Now come with me and taste that delicious German marble loaf cake I made for you.”

“Sounds perfect,” he replied, feeling a warmth spread through him. Together, they moved toward the kitchen, ready to embrace the rest of their evening. The comforting scent of cake filled the air, a sweet reminder of home and the love they shared.

The Shopping Lesson

The sun streamed through the windows of Tina's living room, setting the perfect backdrop for their day together. Eric, now accustomed to his role as her submissive, felt a blend of excitement and apprehension. Tina had suggested a shopping trip, and while he knew it would be an opportunity for growth, he couldn’t shake the feeling that today might test his patience.

“Are you ready?” Tina asked, her smile radiating warmth and authority.

“Ready as I can be,” he replied, trying to match her enthusiasm while battling his own nerves.

As they entered the first store, Eric quickly found himself swept away in Tina’s excitement. She moved gracefully among the racks, selecting items with an expert eye. Minutes turned into half an hour, and soon, Eric’s initial thrill began to wane. The constant flurry of colors and fabrics felt overwhelming, and he found himself growing restless.

“Can we take a break?” he ventured, unable to hide the impatience creeping into his voice. “It feels like we’ve been here forever.”

Tina turned to him, her expression shifting from playful to serious. “Eric,” she said firmly, “I don’t appreciate you being so impatient. I expect you to do better. It’s not your place to hurry me. If you don’t get your act together right away, we can make this really unpleasant for you.”

The weight of her words hit him hard. He felt a flush of embarrassment as he absorbed her tone—a reminder of their dynamic. She was in control, and he was there to support her. The mixture of frustration and exhilaration stirred within him, but deep down, he understood the truth of her statement.

“Stand there and wait for me,” she instructed, her gaze unwavering. 

With a resigned sigh, Eric nodded, knowing there was no choice but to comply. 

As the minutes ticked by, he leaned against a nearby display, glancing at the exit with longing. He felt the urge to rebel, to voice his annoyance again, but the authoritative reminder of his place silenced him. 

Every time he felt his frustration bubbling to the surface, he recalled her words: “If you don’t get your act together, we can make this really unpleasant for you.” The thought sent a shiver down his spine, both thrilling and terrifying.

After what felt like an eternity, Tina finally emerged from the fitting room, modeling a stunning dress. “What do you think?” she asked, spinning slightly to show it off.

“It looks amazing,” he replied, forcing a smile, but the earlier frustration lingered in the back of his mind. “Can we go soon?”

“Not yet,” she said, her tone playful yet firm. “I expect you to be patient. We still have several stores to visit.”

The moment she spoke, he felt the authority in her voice wash over him, grounding him. 

“Yes, Tina,” he murmured, the surrender of his will both a relief and a challenge.

With each passing store, he noticed how Tina navigated the shopping experience with grace and confidence. Her excitement was infectious, and despite his frustration, he found himself captivated by her energy.

Finally, after hours of browsing, she turned to him with a triumphant smile. “See? Wasn’t that fun?”

“Fun isn’t quite the word I’d use,” he replied, sarcasm slipping into his tone despite his better judgment. But as their eyes met, he felt the warmth of her understanding.

“Thank you for pushing me,” he said, softer this time. “I didn’t realize how much I needed this.”

“Good,” she replied, her voice soothing but firm. “I want you to learn the value of patience. It’s essential in our dynamic, and you handled it well.”

As they made their way to a nearby café, Eric felt the weight of the day settle on his shoulders. The shopping trip had tested him in ways he hadn’t anticipated—every moment of waiting, every urge to rebel had stretched his patience thin. He glanced at Tina, who seemed completely at ease, her confidence radiating as she chatted about the next store they’d visit.

The experience had been exhausting. Each time he had felt frustration bubbling to the surface, he had to remind himself to breathe, to stay grounded in the role he had chosen. He realized that the discomfort had been a critical part of the lesson, forcing him to confront his impatience and embrace the vulnerability that came with surrendering control.

As they settled into their seats with their coffees, Eric couldn’t help but reflect on the day. “It was hard,” he admitted, his voice low. “I struggled to just… be.”

Tina nodded, her gaze steady. “That’s the point, Eric. I expect you to obey and to support me in what I want to do, even if you are uncomfortable. It’s about understanding your place in our dynamic.”

He felt a shiver run down his spine at her words, and he knew she was right. There was a freedom in submission, even when it felt challenging. She had led him through a day that tested not just his patience but his ability to trust her guidance.

“I understand,” he said, meeting her eyes. 

He realized that in yielding to her expectations, he was not losing himself but rather discovering new facets of who he could be. “I’ll do better next time,” he promised, the weight of the day transforming into a sense of purpose.

“Good,” she said with a warm smile, her tone approving. 

As they sipped their coffees, Eric felt a renewed sense of commitment. He understood that while the day had been tough, it was a testament to the journey they were on together. 

corner time reflections

 Eric stood naked in the corner, the soft hum of the room fading into the background. Time seemed to stretch into an eternity as he faced the wall, his mind racing. Standing there, his heart pounded in his chest, each second feeling heavier than the last. At 55, he was used to being in control—commanding respect as a successful md—but here, he was entirely at Tina’s mercy.

The warmth of the room felt stifling as he fought the urge to turn around and gauge her reaction. Would she be watching him? The thought sent a thrill of anxiety coursing through him. Just as he shifted his weight, the firm tone of her voice cut through the air.

“Eric, I didn’t tell you to move,” Tina scolded gently, yet the authority in her words sent a shiver down his spine. “Stay in the corner and remember your place. You’re here to learn submission.”

His cheeks burned with embarrassment. Why was this so hard? He thought he was ready for this. He had sought out Tina, hoping to explore the parts of himself he had kept hidden, yet this simple act of standing still was overwhelming. Each moment in silence was an invitation to confront the insecurities he had buried beneath layers of professionalism and bravado.

What did it mean to submit? As he stood there, facing the wall, he wrestled with the paradox of power and vulnerability. The corner felt like a physical manifestation of his emotional barriers, and he was both terrified and exhilarated to be forced to confront them.

Thoughts swirled in his mind. He remembered the conversations they had shared, the way she had encouraged him to embrace his feelings, to let go of the façade he wore every day. But now, in this moment, he felt exposed, like a child caught misbehaving. Could he truly allow himself to feel this way?

“Focus on your thoughts,” Tina instructed from behind him, her voice calm yet firm. “What are you feeling right now?”

He hesitated, the weight of her question pressing down on him. What was he feeling? Frustration, yes. But deeper than that was a sense of longing. Longing for release, for understanding, for the chance to break free from the expectations he had imposed on himself.

As the seconds ticked by, he felt the tension in his body mount. The urge to fidget was almost unbearable. What if he turned around? Would it be so wrong to want to see her? But each time he thought about moving, Tina’s voice echoed in his mind, reminding him of the rules they had established. “I am in control now,” she had said, and part of him craved that control.

Time dragged on. Ten minutes? Fifteen? He couldn’t tell. The clock on the wall felt like it had stopped, mocking him. Each passing moment amplified his internal struggle. He felt vulnerable and exposed, yet there was an odd comfort in that vulnerability. It was an acknowledgment of his humanity, the messy parts of himself he rarely allowed to surface.

“Remember, your job is to submit and do as you’re told,” Tina’s voice broke through again, steady and unwavering. “This is your chance to let go.”

Letting go. The phrase echoed in his mind like a distant promise. Could he truly do that? As much as he wanted to obey, a flicker of rebellion sparked within him. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one in control? But then he remembered her warmth, the way she had guided him gently through their previous sessions. She wasn’t just demanding submission; she was offering him a safe space to explore it.

With that thought, Eric took a deep breath, focusing on the sensation of the wall in front of him. It was solid and unyielding, a reminder that he was anchored in this moment, that he had the freedom to explore his feelings without judgment.

“Good,” Tina said, her tone approving. “Stay with those feelings. Embrace them.”

The heat of his embarrassment lingered, but with each passing moment, it began to transform. The sting of humiliation morphed into something more profound—an understanding of his own limitations, and a realization that this journey was about more than just submission. It was about acceptance, both of himself and the complex emotions he had hidden for so long.

As the minutes dragged on, Eric found a rhythm in his thoughts, allowing the vulnerability to wash over him. He wasn’t just standing in a corner; he was standing at the precipice of a new understanding of himself. The barriers he had built in his life began to feel less impenetrable, and he recognized that surrendering control didn’t equate to weakness.

Finally, Tina called him back, her voice warm and inviting. “You did well, Eric. Come here.”

He turned slowly, feeling lighter, as if he had shed some of the weight he had been carrying. Tina’s smile welcomed him back into her space, and he felt a surge of gratitude. “Thank you,” he said, his voice a mixture of relief and exhilaration.

the locked commitment

The office buzzed with the usual midday activity as Mia sat at her desk, typing away while the sun streamed through the large windows, casting a warm glow over the room. Across the space, Jake paced, glancing anxiously at his watch and then back at Mia.

He approached her desk, tension etched on his face. “Mia, can we talk?”

She looked up, sensing the urgency in his tone. “Of course. What’s going on?”

Jake leaned in, lowering his voice. “I know it’s Locktober and all, but… I really can’t take this anymore. Can you please just take the device off for one night?”

Mia crossed her arms, a hint of amusement in her eyes. “Jake, you promised to keep it on for the whole month. Remember? This was your idea.”

His shoulders sagged, frustration bubbling just below the surface. “I know, but it’s been three weeks. I thought I could handle it, but it’s so much harder than I imagined. I’m distracted all the time, and I miss you.”

Mia studied him, her expression softening but resolute. “I understand. But this isn’t just about the physical aspect. It’s about commitment and trust.”

Jake sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t concentrate on work. Every time I sit at my desk, I feel the weight of it. My mind keeps drifting, and it’s embarrassing.”

“Think of it as a challenge,” she said, her voice steady. “Every time you feel that urge, remind yourself why you chose this. It’s about control and connection.”

He nodded, though the struggle was palpable in his eyes. “It’s hard to focus when all I can think about is being locked up. It feels like I’m constantly on edge.”

“Remember, Jake,” Mia continued, leaning forward. “This is about more than just physical release. It’s about growing together, learning patience. It’s supposed to be hard.”

He looked down, his heart racing as frustration mixed with longing. “But right now, it feels unbearable. I thought I could find ways to cope, but it’s like my brain is wired to fixate on it.”

Mia smiled gently, but her resolve remained firm. “That’s part of the journey. And part of what makes it meaningful. I won’t give in, not this time. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

Jake took a step back, frustration boiling over. “You don’t understand! I can’t focus on the reports or the meetings. I just feel… trapped. It’s distracting, and it’s getting worse.”

“Then let’s make a deal,” Mia suggested, her eyes gleaming with determination. “Every time you feel tempted to ask me to take it off, redirect that energy into completing a work task instead. I’ll help you stay focused.”

He let out a small, frustrated laugh, despite the seriousness of the situation. “So you’re turning my frustration into a productivity challenge?”

“Exactly! And at the end of the month, if you manage to keep that promise, I’ll reward you in a way that will make this all worth it,” she replied, her tone both playful and sincere.

Jake felt a flicker of hope, though the struggle remained evident on his face. “Okay, I’ll try. But I can’t promise I won’t be tempted. It’s really hard.”

Mia reached out, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “I believe in you. This challenge is tough, but it’s also a chance for us to grow closer. Embrace the struggle.”

He nodded, though doubt lingered in the back of his mind. As he returned to his desk, Jake felt the weight of the device pressing down on him, a constant reminder of his commitment. With each passing moment, the urge to reach out to Mia grew stronger, pulling at his resolve.

The hours dragged on, and he found himself staring blankly at his computer screen, thoughts racing. Each ping of an email or buzz of his phone pulled him back into the reality of work, but the device felt like a heavy anchor, dragging him under.

He glanced at Mia, who was immersed in her own tasks, and his heart ached with longing. How was it possible to feel so connected yet so far away? The struggle consumed him, and he knew he had to channel it into something productive.

With a deep breath, Jake turned back to his work, focusing on the reports piled high on his desk. Each word felt like a battle, but he pushed through, reminding himself of the commitment he made. He threw himself into tasks, losing track of time, but the moment he paused, the weight of his desires crashed back down on him.

Hours later, as the workday neared its end, Jake found himself standing by the window, looking out at the bustling city below. The sun was beginning to set, painting the sky in hues of orange and purple, but inside, he felt a tempest brewing.

Mia approached him, sensing the turmoil within him. “You’re doing great, Jake. Just a little longer. You’ve made it this far.”

He turned to her, desperation lacing his voice. “But I can’t keep pretending this is easy. It feels impossible.”

“Jake, remember the promise you made. It’s not just about this month; it’s about what we’re building together. The struggle is part of that. It’s what makes the eventual reward so much sweeter.”

Her words hit him like a wave, washing over him and grounding him. He nodded, though the fight within him continued. “I just… I really miss being close to you.”

“I’m right here,” she said softly, stepping closer. “And when you finally earn that release, it will mean so much more because of everything you’ve endured. Trust the process.”

As he took a deep breath, Jake felt the tension ease just a little. With Mia’s unwavering support, he began to see the challenge in a different light. This wasn’t just about the device—it was about embracing the journey and the deepening bond they were forming through it.

With renewed determination, Jake returned to his desk, focusing on the tasks ahead. The struggle was real, but so was the promise they had made to each other. And as the day drew to a close, he found a flicker of hope in the knowledge that he could face whatever challenges lay ahead, side by side with Mia.

Embracing Locktober

 As October rolls around, I get excited for Locktober—a month full of fun and exploration in the world of chastity. For those who might not know, Locktober is when many men wear chastity devices, diving into the exciting dynamics of restraint and control.

Why Locktober Matters to Me

Locktober isn’t just a challenge; it’s a chance for both partners to grow closer and explore new aspects of their relationship. When my partner participates in this journey, it brings a whole new level of intimacy and trust. Here’s why I love it:

The Benefits of Chastity

• Heightened Sensitivity: When my man is locked away, the anticipation builds. This makes every touch feel more intense, turning ordinary moments into something special.

• Increased Desire: The thrill of restraint creates a powerful desire. As the days go by, that anticipation makes our time together even more exciting and passionate.

• Stronger Emotional Connection: Engaging in chastity encourages open conversations about our desires and boundaries. This deeper communication builds a stronger emotional bond between us.

• Empowerment for Me: Knowing that my partner trusts me enough to explore this dynamic makes me feel empowered. It shows that he values my leadership and guidance in our relationship.

• Creative Exploration: Locktober gives us a chance to be playful and creative. We can set challenges, try new things, and explore fantasies together, which keeps the excitement alive.

Tips for a Meaningful Locktober

Here are some simple tips to make your Locktober experience even better:

1. Set Clear Boundaries: Talk openly about your limits and what you both want. Setting safe words ensures everyone feels comfortable.

2. Incorporate Daily Challenges: I love creating fun challenges each day—like teasing texts or playful tasks. These keep the energy up and make the journey enjoyable.

3. Communicate Regularly: Check in with each other often. Discuss what feels good and any changes you might want to make to keep things exciting.

4. Explore Together: Use this month to try out new dynamics. Experiment with different teasing techniques, role-play, or introduce new toys to discover what you both enjoy.

Locktober is a fantastic opportunity for both partners to explore and connect. If you’re thinking about joining in this month, I encourage you to embrace the excitement, enjoy the journey, and remember that trust and communication are key. Here’s to a fun and empowering Locktober!

accountability sessions

 I’m super excited to share some news with you all. Starting today, I’m offering private accountability sessions via email or over the phone. If you’re a guy looking for some serious guidance, discipline, and a firm but fair hand to keep you on track, this is for you.

These sessions are going to be a deep and humbling experience. We’ll go beyond just setting rules – we’ll dig into what’s really behind your habits and struggles. I’ll be there to listen, understand, and give you the push you need to make real changes.

I’ll set clear goals for you and check in regularly to make sure you’re staying on course. But be warned, this isn’t going to be a walk in the park. Expect real consequences for falling short. There will be punishments like corner time, orgasm denial, writing lines, scoldings, and even being sent to bed early. It’s tough love, but it works.

Whether it’s beating procrastination, improving your personal habits, or just needing someone to keep you focused, I’ve got you covered. It’s going to be tough but rewarding, and you’ll feel a real difference.

This isn’t for everyone – it’s for those ready to face their challenges head-on and commit to serious self-improvement. If you’re up for the journey, reach out to me via email   diestarkefrau@yahoo.com   to set up a session. 

Tell me a bit about yourself and what you want to achieve. I’m very selective about who I work with because I want to ensure everyone is genuinely committed.

power exchange isn't easy

I recently started offering interactive experiences like corner time and online writing line sessions to connect more deeply with you and to explore the dynamics we all crave. The responses I received were both surprising and enlightening, revealing a lot about what you really want.

The most striking thing I noticed was the dual nature of your desires. On one hand, you wanted me to be strict and take control, bossing you around and creating a strong power exchange. This was to be expected in a scenario where the thrill comes from giving up control.

On the other hand, some of you wanted to dictate how the sessions went, essentially "topping from the bottom." You told me exactly what you wanted and how the session should unfold. This showed a need for control and personalization, even in a dynamic where one party usually takes the lead.

Balancing these desires was an interesting challenge. It meant understanding your boundaries and preferences while being flexible with the session dynamics.

Did I always succeed? Nope.

I struggle with the aspect of maintaining authority while being flexible. For me, it is important to keep my authority while accommodating your input.  It is not easy to preserve the power exchange while respecting your need for agency.

Add to it the element of money and things get even more complicated. Some of you were worried that I would just be interested in getting your money. An accusation that actually hurt my feelings a lot.

Others were trying to make sure I don't scam them. I understand that, taking into consideration the many scams that are to be found online. But then, I am thinking: "come on, man. There are so much easier ways out there to scam someone than writing a blog for over a decade about my own journey, my deepest desires, needs, hopes and cravings."

I made a promise to myself in the past to not give myself away for free ever again. I have done that so many times in the past, I won't do that anymore. That's why I insist on a fee when you want to interact with me personally.

Basically: it's all much more complicated than I was hoping.

If you're still interested in joining a session or have any thoughts to share, feel free to reach out. 

corner time sessions

 Just FYI: I now also offer corner time sessions, meticulously designed to correct misbehavior, enhance self-discipline, and provide an unmatched level of accountability.

Imagine standing in the corner of your own room, feeling my watchful eyes on you through the screen, guiding you towards better behavior and personal growth.

In our sessions, you will be instructed to position yourself in the corner, hands at your sides or on your head, as I observe and ensure you maintain the proper stance. 

My stern voice will remind you of the reasons you're there, reinforcing the lessons you need to learn. You will experience the powerful blend of humiliation and introspection, knowing that I am in control, and you are under my strict supervision.

I understand that it takes immense courage to submit to me and relinquish control. Each session is tailored to your specific needs and transgressions. Whether you're being punished for a recent misdeed or working to overcome bad habits, my firm but fair approach will keep you focused and motivated. I offer a safe and confidential space where you can submit to my authority and embrace the discipline you crave.

Are you ready to stand in the corner, feel the weight of my presence, and emerge as a better version of yourself?

Disobedience will not be tolerated. You have been warned.

:-)

Online Writing Line Session For You

 

Are you ready to embark on a journey of discipline and self-improvement unlike any other? I'm thrilled to extend to you a special invitation to participate in an extraordinary experience: an Online Writing Lines Session.

In this exclusive 2-hour session, you will have the unparalleled opportunity to engage with me, a skilled disciplinarian, who will expertly guide you through the art of writing lines. But let me assure you, this is far more than a mere exercise in penmanship. It's an exploration of power dynamics, submission, and the eroticism inherent in discipline, all from the comfort and privacy of your own space.

Now, you may be wondering what exactly this entails. Picture this: you, seated before your computer screen, pen in hand, as I command your attention with my authoritative presence. With each stroke of your pen, you'll be not only refining your handwriting but also delving deep into the psyche of submission, obedience, and focus.

But fear not, my friends, for this session is not about intimidation or coercion. It's about creating a safe and nurturing environment where you can freely explore your desires and boundaries. Whether you're a seasoned practitioner well-versed in the rituals of kink or someone curious to dip their toes into this captivating world, this session welcomes all with open arms.

But let's not ignore the elephant in the room: the tantalizingly humiliating aspect of this experience. In the controlled environment of our session, you'll find that the feelings of humiliation and submission, often elusive in real life, come easily and naturally. As you obediently write line after line under my watchful eyes, you'll feel a delicious blend of shame and arousal wash over you, heightening your senses and intensifying your experience.

You'll discover the satisfaction that comes from surrendering to discipline.  And yes, for the tantalizingly affordable investment of $50, you can secure your place in this transformative experience.

So, if you're eager to explore the depths of your desires and embrace the thrill of submission, seize this opportunity today. Spaces are limited, and demand is high, so don't miss your chance to embark on an unforgettable journey of self-discovery and erotic exploration.

Just drop me a line at 

diestarkefrau (at) yahoo.com

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Tina

mouth soaping

In the hushed aftermath of a friend's wedding, Eric and Tina found themselves navigating a night that would forever linger in their memories. 

The air was thick with jubilation and the echoes of laughter, yet it was overshadowed by the discord that had unfolded between them. Tina, steadfast and sober, held the role of designated driver with grace, her eyes focused on the road ahead as Eric's voice slurred and stumbled through the night air. 

The once jovial atmosphere had taken a somber turn as Eric's words cut through the mirth, the sting of his accusation settling like a stone in the pit of Tina's stomach.  "You are a fucking bitch, Tina. Stay away from me, you bitch. You always want to be in control, I don’t want to have anything to do with you" Eric kept saying over and over.  He was drunk, very drunk, and Tina was scared, very scared. Scared of him. 

As they journeyed homeward, Tina's heart ached, her emotions a whirlwind of hurt and helplessness. Eric's actions had betrayed a side of him she had rarely seen—an aggression fueled by alcohol, directed at her, his beloved partner. 

The weight of his words was a heavy burden, one that pressed upon Tina's shoulders as she maneuvered through the streets. The drive home was fraught with tension, the car a cocoon of silence punctuated by Eric's slurred insults. Each syllable chipped away at Tina's heart, her grip on the steering wheel tightening as she struggled to keep her composure. She yearned for the laughter and camaraderie that had filled their evening, now tainted by Eric's mean and hurtful words.

 As they finally pulled into their driveway, Tina's heart was heavy with a mixture of relief and sorrow. With a heavy sigh, she turned to Eric, her eyes searching his for a glimpse of the man she knew was still there beneath the alcohol-induced haze. "We're home, Eric," her voice was gentle, her words an attempt to calm him down and not infuriate him even more. Quietly they went to bed in separate rooms that night.

The weight of his actions settled heavily upon him as he sobered up the next morning, his heart heavy with regret. Tina's eyes held a mixture of disappointment and hurt as she looked at Eric. Her voice, laced with a raw edge, resonated through the room, laying bare the impact of his words. "Eric, what you said last night was hurtful and unacceptable." His heart sank as he listened to Tina's words. The reality of his actions hit him like a tidal wave, the gravity of his mistake gnawing at his conscience. He felt a mixture of shame and remorse. Tina's emotions were palpable, her frustration simmering beneath the surface. Her voice trembled with a mix of anger and sadness as she continued, "What the fuck were you doing? I thought we had built a foundation of respect and trust. Calling me those words goes against everything we stand for. Do you really think I am a bitch? Is this really how you feel about me?"

Eric's gaze remained fixed on the ground. His words caught in his throat. He knew he had crossed a line, a line that marked a breach of the bond they had nurtured over time. The thought of disappointing Tina, of tarnishing their connection, weighed heavily on his heart. The weight of his actions bore down on him, a relentless reminder of the hurt he had caused. 

Eric's heart clenched as he met Tina's gaze, her eyes a reflection of the pain his words had inflicted. The realization of the depth of his mistake gnawed at his conscience, and he felt a pang of remorse that settled heavily in his chest. Tina's voice wavered with a mix of anger and sadness; her emotions laid bare. "I was so scared of you, last night. You showed a totally different character. I felt like I didn’t even know you."

His throat tightened, words failing him as he absorbed the magnitude of his failure. He wanted to take back those words, to erase the pain he had caused, but he knew that wasn't possible.  As Tina's eyes held his, her voice grew firmer, her emotions brimming to the surface. "I won't stand for this kind of behavior, Eric. There needs to be consequences for your words."

Eric's heart raced, anxiety coursing through his veins. He knew he deserved consequences for his thoughtless actions, but the uncertainty of what Tina had in mind left him both apprehensive and curious. 

Tina's next words struck him with a mixture of surprise and apprehension. "You need to understand the impact of your words, Eric. And I believe a fitting consequence is for you to experience the discomfort you caused." With a determined grace, Tina retrieved a bar of soap from the nearby sink. 

The sight of it in her hand sent a shiver down Eric's spine, a mixture of apprehension and a sinking realization of what was to come. Tina's voice was steady, her tone unwavering. "Open your mouth, Eric." 

Eric's heart raced as he complied, his lips parting to reveal the void where words had once flowed without restraint. The taste of soap met his tongue, a bitter reminder of the consequences of his actions. As the soap suds mingled with his taste buds, his gaze remained fixed on Tina, a mix of humility and regret etched across his features. Tina's eyes held a blend of sternness and compassion, her voice softening as she spoke. "This might be uncomfortable, but I want you to remember this feeling. Just as your words left a bitter taste, your actions had a lasting impact." Eric nodded, his eyes locked with Tina's, his understanding mirrored in his gaze. The taste of the bar of soap was a visceral reminder of the lesson he was learning, a lesson that extended beyond the physical discomfort. 

As the taste of soap lingered on his tongue, Eric felt a mixture of humility and gratitude. He knew that Tina's actions were a reflection of her commitment to their relationship, her determination to guide him on a path of accountability and redemption. But at the same time he felt embarrassed and ashamed. He knew his behavior last night was totally out of line and he feared that Tina might not forgive him for his hurtful words and behavior. He knew that his actions had cast a shadow over the night, his drunkenness unraveling the threads of restraint he had so carefully woven. 

As the echoes of his slurred words lingered in the air, Tina found herself standing at the crossroads of anger and concern. With a sad look on her face, Tina looked at Eric—a man she loved deeply, a man who had lost himself to the intoxicating haze. 

The emotion that swelled within her was a tumultuous blend of frustration and fear—a fear of the demons that alcohol had unleashed, a frustration at the recklessness that had wounded their sacred connection. As the minutes ticked by, Eric's vulnerability was a stark contrast to the bravado he had exuded last night. His gaze, once confident, now held a glimmer of remorse—a mirror reflecting the reality of his actions. The weight of his drunken words had left scars, and Tina knew that these scars ran deep, impacting the fabric of their bond. 

With a mixture of determination and tenderness, Tina's voice broke the silence, her words infused with a fierce sincerity. "You can take the bar of soap out of your mouth now. But Eric, I want you to understand that what happened tonight was not okay. Your words hurt, and your actions crossed a line." 

a real email exchange

A friend, a reader of my blog, wrote me a while back: 

" One of the things that I really like is the concept of act like a child...be treated like a child....that could mean, regular over the knee spankings with my legs going up and down, with my bottom bare, with my panties just below my cheeks or down at my ankles....and tears coming from my eyes....scolding over your knee when I misbehave...followed by corner time....now the other child like punishments you talk about such as early bedtime, being sent to my room, grounding, needing total permission for anything. This is such a great turn on and yes I have been thinking about all of this in the naughtiest of ways...

And here is what I replied: I think it shows clearly that I cared about him. I still do. But I have not heard from him in a long time.

"I know that there is a child in you that is longing to be seen and longing to be taken care of. This is probably what I always could feel with you. I told you many times that I care about you, without actually knowing why I do care about you sooo much. I mean: in your regular life, I am 100% sure, you don`t signal: "I want to be taken care of. I want to be loved, I want to test my boundaries. I want to know that you care about me."

It always felt interesting between you and me. 

I know that I have something that you are lacking in your life (and of course vice versa, you got a lot that I am not having).I am super in all things emotional. I met the attorney general of my state recently, during a dinner debate, and even with him did I speak about feelings. He did not want to do that, did not want to be led to unfamiliar territory, but I did not care ;-) 

Feelings and emotions are what I am best at. And I am actually strong emotionally. I am strong enough to hold you and guide you through emotional and physical pain. And the domestic discipline thing is a perfect way to make you understand: "you are important to me. I won`t let you get away with bad behavior. I will not hesitate to make you understand that even you have to follow some rules. You better get your act together or there will be some consequences that you won`t like." 

For instance: sending you to bed early (or maybe in your case: telling you to stay in bed for 2 hours longer, lol) is a perfect way to make an impression. I can already feel it in my stomach.  My stomach is a very good indicator :-) And I like that feeling. 

I can almost see you negotiating with me "but Tina, it´s important, I need to get up, I need to make that phone call, I have to do this and that.." 

I would of course never really interfere with your business. But if I wanted to teach you a lesson, I would not hesitate to give you a time out... All you had to do is accept my decision and stay in bed. And if you did not do that, if you did not surrender to me, I would just get one of your very own belts and use it on your bare bottom for a while to get my point through to you.

With me, you would cry regularly. I can sense that you don`t allow yourself these softer sides as often as you deserve. I am often wondering: where on earth are you "storing" all your emotions? You cannot show them in business, that is clear. But you need to have a place to "let go" at least once in a while.

And in a way, I´d really like to have that part in your life. I can feel that you are not giving that little boy inside you enough space. I know how hard it is to always stay in control, to always make the decisions, to be the leader and to deal with all the big problems... 

I cannot really "play" domestic discipline stuff with you at the moment. For many reasons. But I can assure you that I am here for you anyway.

With me, you will always have a safe place."

being a lawyer again

I am working as a lawyer again and so far it's great. 

The transition back into law was much easier than expected. I work with and for a team of young men, I call them "my boys". They are treating me well and I enjoy that I finally am the master of my own time again. 

I do everything remotely. The law firm is in Germany and the clients are all German too. I work from 6 am to 2 pm  or 3 pm and can spend the afternoon at the beach or meditating or meditating at the beach, lol.

I finally have time for the kink again. And I love that I have finally time to blog again too. The last one and a half years were crazy busy. I felt so constricted. I am glad that it is over. But I can also feel that I have grown as a woman.

I am not sure where my journey is going as far as the kink is concerned. My husband is not willing to do anything kinky with me and I am still pondering what I wanna do about it and if I wanna do something about it...or not.

In the last months I have pretty much ignored that I am a woman. That is something that I can do easily. In the past I used to do that for years. I just lived as a human being and the fact that I was a woman was completely irrelevant.

I was so happy when I finally had tapped into my femininity and focused on my sexual desires for a while. but now I feel like: The fact that I am not living it anymore is not as bad as it was, because for a decade or so I had a super interesting and colorful sex life, and the blog helped me a big part in having it.

At the moment I am not sure where I want to go with my sexuality. My husband is not giving me what I want, but I am nevertheless pretty happy in my vanilla relationship with him at the moment. We can spend a lot of time together now, most days we both work from home. My friends were warning me and saying: "It will be difficult when the two of you are suddenly together that much, " But it seems like we are both enjoying it. If I have to do phone calls, he is super quiet and when he is making phone calls or seeing clients at home, I am super quiet. We are working together like a fine-tuned machine. It's nice.

I have become pretty unreliable in answering my emails on my strong woman account. I apologize to all of you who have written to me and did not get a reply. I just don't know where to go, figuratively speaking. I feel at ease with getting turned on by female dominance and male submission, I am at peace with my love for spanking a man's butt. I think it is cool that so many of you are living this lifestyle. It feels like there is not much to explore anymore.

When I did the job interview for the legal job, I realized in the last minute that I am still logged in into my strong woman account. When I turned the camera on, instead of "Tina Mueller" it said "The strong woman". I laughed when I saw it. I was so relaxed, when the interview began, I just told the interviewer with a nice smile: ahhh, i am logged into the wrong account. Ignore the "strong woman", my name is "Tina Mueller". I figured: well, if by coincidence they should know about this blog and make the connection. so be it. But it was no problem, they hired me.

I do not longer counsel or coach men in any way, shape or form. I dont play with my readers anymore. In the past I did not really play either, it was always very meaningful to me when I had a D/s interaction with someone. But lately it feels like: I dont want to have a close emotional connection with anyone else but my husband. I don't want to do anything with a man who is married to another woman who is not interested in his kink. I don't feel "responsible" anymore to solve other people's relationships. I am not interested anymore in helping men to secretly living the kink.  

I have become much better in keeping boundaries and taking care of myself.

The one guy I still spank is a wonderful human being. He is intelligent and emotional smart and has a big heart. My husband knows all about it and is fine with it. 

A lesson in submission

 I was in church yesterday and watched the feet washing rite. While doing that and while listening to the following music being played (  As I have done for you, Dan Schutte ) I had time to reflect over the last 14 months.

It has been a phase of deep learning and healing and also discomfort for me. I was working as a nanny, being micro managed a lot and criticized constantly. Figuratively speaking, I was in an very tight corset and I was having difficulties breathing. 

My bosses were younger than me, financially much more powerful than I and I had to ask for permission to do things all the time. At the age of almost 50 and after having been a lawyer for almost 2 decades I had suddenly become a servant, felt like a slave. And boy did I struggle in that role. 

On the one hand I loved many aspects of it: I loved dealing with the kids, and the kids loved me.  And I loved being loved by them. For me, there is nothing more beautiful than a toddler running up to me and throwing himself in my arms, or a little baby laughing and giggling when I tickle her. I could finally outlive my motherly facets that were deeply buried inside me. I cuddled with the kids and played games and laughed and went to playgrounds and libraries and could make peace with the fact that I did not get children myself. And I was good at it. Many friends who saw me with the kids complimented me on how great I am doing with them and pointed out how much the kids loved me and clung to me.

On the other hand the job was mentally and emotionally incredibly hard for me. I have a tendency to want to please people and in this job pleasing my bosses was just not possible. It felt like I received constant criticism and there was constant focusing on things I had done wrong. 

It all got more complicated by the fact that both bosses worked from home and were constantly around and watching/supervising me. They were in business mode and me, instead of being in detached business mode too, I had my heart and feelings wide open because I was surrounded and dealing with kids all the time. It was just very tricky.

For months I went to bed at 7 pm, just to recover from the day and to somehow make it through the next day. I felt very powerless , very drained and very out of control.  

During that time, in an effort to not lose myself completely, I spanked some of my readers, but none of them returned back to me. I think they could feel that something was off with me.

Figuratively speaking, I was so beaten into submission that my dominant side was more or less dormant. It was a good day for me when I did not cry in the evenings.

To make a long story short: I finally quit and am back in the legal field. 

When I was driving home after my last day of watching the kids, I had the most intense emotional outbreak I ever had. I felt a HUGE feeling of relieve that it is finally over and that I have control over my own life back. I was so happy that the constant feeling of having to do more and doing better and having to work even harder to please the bosses is finally a thing of the past.

At the same time I was crying like crazy because I know I "lost" the kids. I will never spend quality time with them ever. I love these kids with all my heart and letting them go was one of the hardest things I had to ever do. I know that they will be fine, and I think my sadness is also linked with my deep realization that now it is too late for me and that I will never have own children. It is a sadness over the fact that I never experienced being a mom. I always wanted children, but it was just not in the cards for me. I met my husband too late in life. We tried for a while to get pregnant, but biology was against us. 

I am immensely grateful for the time I had with these wonderful kids that I watched for a while. I was often singing to the baby. "You are my sunshine. my only sunshine.  you make me happy when times are grey, you'll never know dear  how much I love you"

I also got a much deeper understanding how much I was loved when I was a child. I was surrounded by love when I was growing up. So far, I had always focused on my dad and the love he was not able to give me. But now I am realizing how much love and warmth and care I did receive from my grandmother, my grandfather and my mom. That's a very healing feeling.

I still see one man for spankings. A few days ago, when I told him about my new job his spontaneous response was: "Congratulations. Now you are on the right track, I am so happy for you. I never saw you as a nanny. This is just not your personality."

I am very glad that my time of submission has come to an end now. It was a hard lesson for me, but I am glad I walked that path and learned what I had to learn.

I am looking forward to tapping into my dominant side again.

Hope you are all doing well.

Happy New Year 2024 !

It's been quite a while since I've posted! Thanks for hanging in there and remaining patient with me. Life became incredibly hectic and it felt as if I didn't have a single moment to myself. My attention was nowhere near this exhilarating part of my life - I hardly even watched any tantalizing videos!

Last year posed quite the challenge in terms of my intimate interests. The transition from simply blogging to actually encountering some of my readers in the flesh was rather daunting.

After divulging my innermost thoughts here for over a decade, meeting readers made me feel rather exposed - though not in an enjoyable way related to power dynamics, I should clarify.

I interacted with some readers while knowing very little about their private worlds. They remained firmly fixed on protecting their own privacy, which left minimal space for my personal concerns about discretion.

They were familiar with all about me, yet I was in the dark regarding them. This imbalance simply does not suit my preferences or style. I doubt it provided the optimal scenario for the gentlemen either. Make no mistake - I received no complaints in that department! However, glimpsing one's fantasy blogger rarely aligns with the imagined vision.

I positively delighted in some marvelous phone conversations with a few tantalizing readers though. Discussing our adventures proved incredibly enjoyable and titillating!

Just when I began resigning myself to a spanking-less existence, fate introduced me to a bright, considerate young stud. He's a few years my junior - we started with me viewing his steamy M/M session, which led organically to my direct involvement. This has since blossomed into a thrilling F/M/M dynamic filled with pleasure. He even declares my spanks generate more sting than his male companion's! Best of all, this alluring man knows nothing whatsoever about my blog, so no imbalance exists. We've simply shared insights about one another as affectionate partners.

I wish all of my cherished readers a delightful and adventurous 2024 filled with pleasure, excitement and all varieties of steamy explorations! Here's to another year of  kinky fun! 😘