what does the kink stand for?

For you, personally, what does domestic discipline stand for?

What parts of your personality, what feelings, what fears and hopes do you hide in real life and only show them in a domestic discipline context?

What feelings don`t you dare to outlive in the "real world"?

Don`t give me an obvious answer, such as: " it´s hot to be dominated by a strong woman".

I wanna know what is behind...

• What is it that gives you that special feeling in your stomach? When can you usually feel it the most? 
• What makes you submit even though you know you are not gonna enjoy the next few moments too much?
• What is the driving force behind your interest in domestic discipline?
• What do you (hope to) gain by being the submissive partner in a dd relationship?

Let me know what is going on in your head...

early bed times and loss of privileges

With the right guy, age play is great. It can be unbelievably hot to treat a grown man like a young boy. I said many times that I think early bed times, groundings and loss of privileges are effective domestic discipline tools. I used all of these punishments. And it has always been fun for me and very hard for the man.

In a way it is easier to accept a spanking than accepting being sent to bed at an early time or being grounded for some time. I think this is due to the fact that the man can be pretty passive while getting a spanking. It hurts, it is a bit embarassing but at the same time the person being spanked is getting a lot from the spanker. Time, dedication, attention, touching, scolding, ...the spanker gives a lot. And the submissive partner gets it all. The submissive partner is in the center of  the spankers attention. It is pretty much impossible to spank somebody and not give him my full intention.

Adding to this the fact that as a good loving and caring dominant woman I think it is my duty to make sure that I do not actually "hurt" him in  a bad way, I need to pay attention to his words and body language all the time. I might be angry with him and punish him for his acts, but I will always make sure that he is safe and knows that he is loved.

All he has to do is: submitting to my dominance. Once he is over my knees, he is receiving what I am giving him.

In regards to early bed times, groundings and loss of privileges however, the man is not receiving much. Instead, important things are taken away from him. He does not get my attention. He does not feel me. I dont care much if he is ok, because I already KNOW that he won`t be harmed. It might hurt his male ego a bit, but this is exactly what I am intending, so, I am not worried about it :-)  In these scenarios he is not the center of my attention. Far from it. I might have fun or be on the phone with a friend, while he is sent to bed alone with nothing to do but trying to fall asleep or waiting for me to follow him to bed. This makes submitting really hard. And I cannot tell you often enough how much it means to me when a man submits to me in such a way.

punishment lines

IMHO punishment lines are one of the most underestimated punishments in a domestic discipline context.

A very long time ago, I punished a man by making him write lines. And I loved it. I loved all of it.

I enjoyed my power while telling him that he is expected to write me the lines,
it was fun hearing from him how much he does not want to write the lines
it was hot telling him "Yes, I am serious, I really want these lines"
and it touched my heart when I got the lines by regular mail.

Punishment lines can be such a great thing. Most men hate writing these lines, but for me as a woman, getting the lines is big.

In a domestic discipline relationship so much is going on in the head only.
And many things just do not make sense. (what sense is there in standing a man in a corner or telling him to wear panties to work or denying him to have an orgasm for days and weeks...)
And some punishments are in reality just chores that one of the partners has to do anyway. ("I expect you to sort out the garage today" or "the house better be spotless when I return").

The lines however are different insofar as they are a palpable sign that he cosiders me to be someone special. Sure, I could make a man make me buy a diamond ring or a Mercedes. This would be something palpable too. But the lines are a sign of love and respect because they are so absurd. There is no sense in writing them. Most men dont get turned on by it. They cost the writer a lot of time and emotional overcoming. Writing lines sucks :-)

But getting the lines is fantastic. They are a sign that the man is willing to do whatever I tell him to do, just because I want to or just because I think it would do him some good to spend some time on a desk and to write one sentence over and over again. On top of it, it is a punishment that does not cost me much energy.
Plus: It does not give him much attention from me while he is doing it. He is expected to be quiet and sit down and write  without getting an attaboy from the woman. The whole scenario is pretty strange. And one has to ask oneself: why is he doing it?
And the answer is: because he wants to please me. Because he thinks I am worthy to be submitted to. Because I am special to him.

could I live without dd?

 Not too long ago a very good friend asked me:

"would you be willing to marry a vanilla man?"

And my answer was: Yes, I would .

The thing is: I want the real deal. I want raw emotions. I want a man who is willing to show me his soul. And I want a man who is courageous enough to follow me wherever I might lead him.

Could this all happen in a vanilla relationship?

I guess so.

There is no doubt in my mind that I like kink and anal sex and spankings and corner times and bringing a man to his limits and making him cry. I think it is unbelivably hot to have the power to make a man do or not do some things. Orgasm control is something that makes me smile every time I only think at it. And I still remember the first time I had a man over my knees and spanked his bare butt with my hand. I can not even see a man wearing a belt without remembering how I used a belt on a mans butt.

However, the kink alone is not enough for me. I want the feeling that dd and kink evokes in me. The intimacy and the belonging, the commitment and the bonding, the trust and the understanding between the partners.  I think if a vanilla man offered me these feelings without kink, I would gladly accept his offer.