We went to the ball together, he looked awesome, he was the perfect gentleman and he let me touch him in very possessive ways while we were sitting at a table with many other people. To sum it up: Fun :-)
We left early and had the house for ourselves. I took advantage of that privacy and I showered him with attention and affection.
It was a warm summer night, we were both naked and for the first time in a very long time I felt very comfortable in my body again. He made it very easy for me. He wanted me and he showed it to me in very reassuring ways. We talked a lot, I teased him a lot, I gave him a real spanking on his bare bottom, I fingered his ass... we did not get much sleep that night.
Early in the morning he finally fell asleep in my arms and stayed there. It felt good. Very intimate and close.
In the morning we had breakfast with my family, and later he and I went for a walk in the woods.
During that walk he told me that there cannot be a future for us. He apologized deeply for only telling me that now, but he gave me a very good explanation for his behavior. And I understood his line of thinking and I actually agreed with his reasoning. I did understand him, I even thought he was right...and still it hurt.
To get over that awkward moment, we started to talk about vanilla things. He started to ask me questions about my life, my house, my family , my job... and I felt totally cornered and criticized. He only asked questions, but his questions hit me in the bottom of my stomach. It shook me in a very bad way and I started to cry.
I knew I was overreacting, I knew he had not tried to hurt me, I understood that he had intended no harm, but I was not able to stay cool. We walked back home in silence and I gave him the cold shoulder treatment. He tried his best to make me feel good again, but he was not able to turn my mood around again. I just needed to process what had just happened.
We sat down in the garden together and did not say a word to each other. After a while I finally relented and accepted his apology and we gave each other a very very very long and deep and intimate hug. I ended the hug by taking his hand and telling him: "follow me". And I started to lead him into my office. He was a bit confused, did not suspect what I had in mind, but just followed me.
In my office I led him to my desk, touched his back, pushed him down a bit and told him: "bend over the desk! " He did not ask anything, just followed my order.
While he was bending over my desk, I patted the back pockets of his jeans and realized that he has stuff in there. Without asking for his permission I emptied the back pockets of his pants, and threw the content on the table. Tabacco for roll-up cigaretts, lol. (which, btw, was a super hot moment for me. This is something that I usually just dont do in my life, lol, searching and emptying the pockets of a man.) Only a moment later my wooden hairbrush slammed down on his butt. ( I always have a wooden hairbrush near my desk, lol, really. I did not ever have a chance to use it, but I always wanted to use it. And so, with the lovely gentleman, finally my opportunity had come.)
I gave him a short, sharp shock. Just a few hard slaps with my hair brush. But the message was absolutely clear and he totally got what I was trying to tell him ;-) It all went very quick. Not staged or playful. Just a woman telling a man that his behavior was not ok.
As suddenly as I had started the spanking I ended it again. I told him to get up and I gave him a long and warm hug. He was contrite and I told him that all is good again. The spanking had totally cleared the air.
We huged each other for a long time, over and over again. Both of us did not want to let the other go. But we both knew we had to.... Then his taxi came and he left.
I was very sorry to read about your disappointment. I hope that you find lasting happiness very soon.
ReplyDeleteActually, I am very grateful that I had this time with the man. Meeting him and the interaction with him helped me enormously. I am feeling much better now than I did in months. :-)
ReplyDeleteTo continue with your above response.... why? Why do you feel so much better?
ReplyDeleteHe wanted me, he made me feel appreciated and warm, he trusted me, he touched me in ways I have not been touched in a very long time. He let me boss him around as much as I wanted to, he accepted my affection. Basically: He showed me that there is a future for me even if my ex does not care about me anymore. I did not see that light at the end of the tunnel in the last months, but now, thanks to the man, I finally do see it again.
ReplyDeleteHe gave me hope, showed me that I am a lovable woman, made me realize how sexy I can be.
The fact that he left again is sad, but no drama. He gave me so much, I will carry those emotional gifts with me for a very long time.
I'd love to meet you one day. I've been searching my whole life for a woman like you. I'm 36, successful, a world traveler, handsome (according to many opinions), very fit, and I am so intrigued by who you are. I wish we could email each other.
ReplyDeleteSincerely
Carlos
(my name backwards @ gmail)
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ReplyDelete@chrome mail:
ReplyDeleteI did not say "stay". I fought so much for my ex, I just did not want to fight for the "lovely gentleman". I was in more of a "take me or leave me" mode. I think I signaled him more something along the line of: "If you want me, You have to make that decision. I cannot make that decision for you. I am happy when you contact me, I enjoy your presence. But I am not gonna "force" you into anything with me. If you want me, you have to initiate the next steps. I won't do it."
I am not gonna talk about any details. but let´s just say: he had his reasons for behaving as he did, I understand his reasons and I think he did the right thing. In visiting me and in leaving me again :-)
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ReplyDelete