a strange place to be

Right now, I’m a bit at a loss. My usual interest in guiding someone to “make him a better person" is no longer here. I think I’ve finally understood that people need to do their emotional work themselves—that it’s not my job to save or fix anyone. That realization has shifted something deep inside me, and I’m not entirely sure where it leads me when it comes to Female Led Relationships.

I feel like—at this moment—I’m not taking over anything for anyone anymore. I’m not carrying someone else’s baggage anymore. Yes, I could still do that, lol—my scanner personality makes it easy for me to find solutions in record time. My whole professional life is built on that ability, after all. But in my private life, I just don’t want to do that anymore. Not right now. I’m still in the process of figuring out what that all means for the future and where I want to go from here.

Part of why I feel this way is because the men I was usually attracted to did not always do their share of the heavy lifting in real life. They pretended that I am their Queen, and that they would love me—and on some level I’m sure they did—but far too often they used my strength to feel comforted and cared for without giving back equally. This imbalance slowly wore on me, and it has made me question what it means to truly lead and support in a Female Led Relationship in a way that feels healthy and reciprocal.

It’s a strange place to be, but also a freeing one. I guess I’m learning to let go a little, trusting that things will unfold as they should—even if it’s not entirely clear yet.