Am I supposed to understand you, men?

A friend mailed me the other day:
"I had a bitch of a girl-friend who kept me on my toes most of the time and I would have done anything to please her (anything reasonable.)"

I´ve been thinking about that statement for quite a while. 
To be honest, I just don´t get how that general concept works. How can it be, that being a bitch and keeping him on his toes, would get a man to do everything for his lady? It´s just that for me, the idea of being a bitch carries negative connotations. Maybe it is indeed because of my good catholic background. As far as I can judge my own behaviour from the past, (and that sure is a difficult task...,) there were not many moments were I did resort to being bitchy. I do not actually recall one single incident where I made a conscious decision of being a bitch. (Whatever that might mean).

Don´t get me wrong. I did not absent myself from the field of domestic discipline. The idea alone of "keeping him on his toes" makes me smile. I want to see him putting effort in pleasing me. And to know that he is going to do something (you name it: chores, preparing to receive a spanking, getting the car gased, having to wait before being allowed to orgasm, joining me to the gym for a workout...), even if he really does not want to, just because I tell him, is A-W-E-S-O-M-E. I do want him to accept whatever I mete out. But IMO this can only work if the man can be sure that I am not going to misuse my power, that I am going to respect his limits and take his fears, issues, trials and tribulations into consideration

I prefer being in a relationship with a self-confident, manly and somewhat self -contained man who honors and respects me for being the (hopefully) decent person I am. I do not want a separation between real-life and relationship-life. My dad once told me many years ago: "Tina, I do realise that girl-friend I am having does not have a good character. She does not do me any good. However she´s just too great in bed". Such a "relationship" is definitely something I do not want to have.

For me it is important that my partner is loving me for my behaviour inside and outside our relationship.

One last conciliatory thought for today: The person who sent me the above mentioned statement ended his mail by saying:
"I think to be a dominant woman is a position that should be undertaken by someone who is happy, confident and capable. Above all there should be good communication and an adult attitude to solving problems."
Seems to me there`s just not too big a difference between what men and women are trying to find...

control

I love the idea of having control over a man. A man being controlled by a women for me is a very appealing concept. I remember reading an article a couple of years ago about Hillary Clinton slapping Bill because of the whole Monica L. mess. And I recall clearly thinking: Thats the right thing to do. Even though Hillarys part was not quite as dominant as I would have loved....

I love control in general, no doubt about it. However I am not  a control freak. Quite the opposite. In real life I am facing many situations where I do have no control at all. Being a lawyer always involves a great deal of improvising and dealing with unforeseen problems. Not always are my clients doing as I told them. In a relationship however I expect my man to obey me.

First reactions

Since I first started this blog, various men have asked me to tell them, what kind of man I am looking for. Ok, my friends here comes my wish list:

A man who is independent in real life, someone who is willing and able to commit to our relationship. A man who does not expect me to be the ruthless dominatrix 24/7 but who is nevertheless accepting me being in charge. If there is- in my oppinion- need for a punishment, the guy has to have the ability to come to terms with everything I administer. Spankings, corner time, writing lines, doing chores, early bed times, orgasmus denial, scolding, humiliating or any other inventing punishment  might be in store for him. Someone who wants to get both my love and my correction.

I am looking for the real deal here. Not only a loose braggy internet contact but a honest, reliable real life partner.

As you might have figured...

As you might have figured I am german. However I`d love to hear from people all around the world. I travel a lot and therefore I am able to meet you not only in Europe but the US as well.

Since I can remember I dreamt about being in a loving consensual domestic discipline relationship. I never had the courage to really go for my dreams but lately I figured: "so what, here I am, longing for a man to be disciplined by me, ..., girl just go for it".

So any advice from the more experienced of you: What ist the best way to procede? Any advice is much appreciated.
The goal is clear: getting actively involved in such a relationship.

Die starke Frau

Ich bin eine Frau, Single, Marathon-Finisher, Anwältin, politisch engagiert, unkonventionell und selbständig. Bin ich damit schon eine starke Frau?

Dieser Blog soll mir helfen, hier Klarheit zu bekommen. Unabhängig bin ich jedenfalls. Und eines sollte vielleicht auch noch erwähnt werden:

Ich bin auf der Suche nach einem Mann, der mit mir eine domestic discipline Beziehung eingehen will. Ein Mann, der fest im Leben steht aber keine Angst hat, sich vor mir schwach zu zeigen.

Ob ich so einen Mann finden werde? Wir werden sehen.