....that is the question :)
In my "figging" post I mentioned that the man clenching his butt cheeks makes a hand spanking much more difficult. A ginger root would definitely help to solve that little "problem". But thinking about it, I realized that there is much more to say to the "clenching question".
It is true that I prefer for the man to "unclench" his butt cheeks while being spanked. He should do nothing to make the woman´s job difficult. Bottom line: "Stop wriggling, stop clenching and get your hands out of the way." These ground rules are very easy to understand and not too demanding, don`t you agree, lol.
But, and here comes a big but: At the same time I think it is kind of "boring", only half the fun so to speak, when the man is not moving at all and absolutely passivley and very stoically, just accepting whatever the lady chooses to hand out.
IMHO, for the woman, here is the line between
being a mean, heartless and sadistic bitch who is hurting a man she does not really care about
and
being a loving and considerate woman who is disciplining her man for some unacceptable behavior or deeds.
I want to see that it is difficult for the man to accept what I am handing out. I want to be sure that it is no walk in the park for him. I want to see him struggle to stay in position. I want to see him fight internally to fullfil my demands. I want to be sure that I am actually making an impression.
But most of all, I want to see him actually submitting himself to my authority. I want him to be active. I want him to actively participate in the punishment. I want to see him honestly comply with what I am doing.
That is probably one of the reasons why I have not used any bondage yet. See, in my way of thinking, once the man is in bondage, he just has to accept. There is nothing he can do to get out of the situation. In a way he is "forced" to take what the woman is handing out.
But me, personally, I like to see him staying in the situation by his own will, determination and resolve alone. For me, the fact that he is submitting himself to my authority is a token of love from him to me. And that token gets bigger the harder it is for him to do what I want him to do.
As for the clenching question:
Actually I don`t mind if a man clenches his butt cheeks in order to better deal with the pain. It is absolutey ok. I mean, lets not candy-coat the reality: Spankings do hurt.....The pain is real...
But in a perfect scenario, I would want him to relax his butt again before each new slap :-)
I think some people may be more sensitive to ginger root... it barely bothers me actually.
ReplyDeleteAnother way to prevent clenching is to bend the subject over a chair, table or sofa and insist on them being on their toes. It not very easy to clench at all while being bent over and on one's toes.
Absolutely on target. My role as submissive is to present myself for punishment. If she is making an impression, I will bounce, squirm, move. But my head will stay low, torso in place, bottom back in position for each new stroke. I will not be listless or stoic. I seek and accept and participate; I will fully submissively cooperate.
ReplyDeleteI am sure there is an almost perfect balance between staying in position and having a physical response to my spanking.
This is beautifully written and with great understanding and compassion. Wonderful post.
ReplyDeletePosition has more to do with it than anything else, but cane if you can clench, you will. The pain takes over.
ReplyDeleteSecond comes the speed. Spankings tend to be fast, and there is no chance to separate the spanks in your head - they become one massive building fire in your bottom. If it is a slower implement, like a cane, then there is time to take each stroke, go through the pain of it, and then get ready for the next. But with spanking, I can;t help feeling that if a man can relax his bottom voluntarily, then the spanking is not that hard.
Thanks for all your comments. Next time I am giving a spanking, I will take into consideration what you all said :-)
ReplyDeleteJust a quick note to correct my comment about. Correction is in capitals.
ReplyDeletePosition has more to do with it than anything else, BECAUSE if you can clench, you will.
You say "Next time I am giving a spanking, I will take into consideration what you all said :-)"
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are giving spankings even though thousands of miles from your man. Are you spanking other men? Does he know this and agree to it?
@Anonymous: My man knows pretty much everything I am doing. I got nothing to hide. Am not spanking at all these days. And I wrote about it in lengths: For me , domestic discipline only works if I am in love with the man. My man is the only man I am in love with.Since he is on a different continent: No spankings from me....
ReplyDeleteI agree, the distance is a problem, but, and I just said so to my man, I am convinced from the bottom of my heart that things will be better again for him and me. And I am definitely making longterm plans for him and me.
Thanks for explaining that Tina.
ReplyDelete