Here I am again. I finally found the time to update my blog again. Over the last month I have received a lot of emails asking me how I am doing, but I really was not in the right frame of mind to answer. The last months have been challenging for me. But it seems like I finally made it through and life is lighter and friendlier again. I can feel my old optimistic and courageous and fun personality come to surface again and I have moments when I finally feel the zest for life again that I had been feeling earlier in my life.
I am in bed with Covid right now, but it seems to be only a mild form and it finally gives me the time to update you all on the new developments in my life.
Quite a few things in my life have absolutely changed to the better.
Marriage:
Most importantly: My marriage is smooth sailing again. I know it is because of me. I changed my thinking and I changed myself and I was able to be vulnerable around him and at the same time I was able to stand up for myself. I think I found a great mix of drawing boundaries while at the same time being open to trusting him and allowing him to care for me.
The fact that I changed myself changed the whole marriage dynamic. The result is that we have really grown together as a couple. It was a strange time for us, because it was the first time in our 6 years of being together that we were actually alone. Usually we were always surrounded by at least one family member. And now it was - and is- only us. We both needed time to adjust to the new reality.
Work:
I am working a lot now. And along with the money comes some self esteem again. I finally have friends here in the US now. In the past , literally everybody I knew was linked to my husband. Now I am finally making own friends. (Don't get me wrong, the friends I met through my husband are great too, but now it feels like I have finally arrived in the US).
I am still the caretaker of a woman who suffers from a chronic disease and I spent a lot of time at her place. I help her to the bathroom and feed her and give her massages and once in a while my skills as a trained mediator come in handy and I do some family mediation for them.
I am still working as a nanny for 3 lovely kids. It is like having the kids I never had.
Furthermore I do some side gigs in all sorts of areas, It feels definitely good to be wanted again. And the whole work situation now finally gives me the feeling of self-efficacy.
Fetlife:
I recently reached out to a guy on fetlife who was casually looking to get a spanking. But I think I scared him away, lol. He must have read my last blog post and probably thought that I am nuts. So I told myself: "No fetlife activity anymore before I at least update my blog and let people know that I am feeling better again." :-)
The guy really did miss out though, because I felt great and just wanted to celebrate my newfound happiness with a no strings attached F/M spanking :-)
Accountability coaching:
A dear friend wrote me a while ago: "I wondered if you have thought of doing something like this? I know I would welcome someone to whom I was accountable and who would discipline me"
And he added the following link:
And my response is: yes, I have thought about it, and I am willing to do it for the right guys.
I don't want to set up a website, because I know that I can work my magic best with people who found me through my blog. I don't want to attract random guys who see me as their jerk off fantasy. That is why , as always, I hide the "juicy stuff" in the ends of my blog posts. I want to keep the superficial guys away and reward the good ones :-)
I just had in fact a wonderful and very meaningful accountability coaching period with a German gentleman who had hired me to guide him to some much needed structure in his life. It was a great experience and I am super happy that I had the privilege to help him getting his acts together. And yes, it did involve him losing privileges and it was not always easy for him, that I am sure about.
If you feel you are lacking discipline or need some loving but firm female guidance in your life, feel free to contact me. I am sure we can work something out. I am around for over a decade now. You know by now that I am the real deal and that I am not playing games. :-)
Oh, and for the right guys: I am even willing to do skype now. In the past I was reluctant to do that, but now I feel differently. The experience with the German Gentleman taught me how fruitful a skype coaching can be. If you are on the fence of contacting me: Do it now. No better time than now. I am looking forward to working with you, holding you accountable, punishing you and helping you to reach your goals. I can provide you with a much needed short sharp shock or guide you patiently but firmly through a couple of weeks. Just drop me a line. :-)
It feels good to be back!
