Though I don't know the specifics of the situation your man faces, I truly believe that if someone loves you and understands the love you wish to give to him, then he ought to embrace your desire to travel to be with him. He should not deny what you wish to give. I did that one time with B about a year ago - chose to remain by myself rather than be with her when she wanted to comfort me, and I realized immediately how much that hurt her and how wrong it was of me to deny her what she wished to offer me.My man is preventing me from standing at his side. And unfortunatelly, he is preventing me successfully.
I did not actually expect him to decline my offer to fly to him. And when he did that, it triggered a lot of feelings within me. Feelings from my past. Feelings of rejection.
In the last few days however, I realized that he is most likely following a bigger, alpha male concept of "I am a grown up man, I need to sort out my problems alone".
The problem is: I am not familiar with such an attitude. The men in my family usually relied on other people to solve their problems. (I am not saying that is a better way of walking through life. All I am saying is: That is something I am used to). And me, personally, I am the queen of sharing problems. A problem shared is a problem halved. Even though I make the tough decisions alone, I usually need to talk about it with friends or family for hours before the decision is made.
There is no doubt that my man has to face the challenges of his life himself anyway. As much as I wanted to provide him with a solution, I can not do that.
However, what I could do and what I would want to do is: to be there for him. To comfort him, to pamper him or to discipline him. I am ready to give him some emotional support. It would please me to do that. It would make me happy. In spending some time with him, I could gain some strength for my own life. It would probably boost his energy and my energy at the same time.
Unfortunatelly, I am backed up in a corner right now. I asked him for his opinion, said I would not do anything against his will. He shared it honestly with me. And now I have to deal with it. It is my turn to just accept it and suck it up.