According to "Tonya", my best friend, I changed quite a lot since having found my man. She tells me I am radiating a happiness and contentment I had not had in the past.She has known me since many years, since the beginning of law school and we had many , and I mean really many!!!, conversations about men, partnership and what we want in life.
We were not alway sure that we would find happiness in a partnership. To be honest, we were not always sure if we would could "get" a partner at all. At these conversations the unflattering term "old spinster" came up more than once... See, in our way of seeing things, there comes a point in a womans life, where being a virgin is not longer "hot" but "embarrassing" and "a problem". And unfortunately for her, she still has not found "her man" yet. She is still single...But she is happy for me. And I keep telling her that she will find a good man too.(oh, and NO, she is not into domestic discipline..., I tried to match her with a cool American guy just recently, but it looks as if it is not going to work out at all).
Even if I might sound like a little girl, I still have a hard time to realize that I actually "found" my man. It is such a dream come true... Being with him feels right. He treats me very well. He brings a smile to my face whenever I only think of him. He is having my six in situations where nobody ever supported me in the past.
Last year at this time, I had almost given up all hope of finding the "real deal" as far as finding a partner is concerned. I have been waiting a very long time for "him" and for the relationship I am having now with him. The feeling of having him in my life is still so unfamiliar...I am really entering unfamiliar territory here.
The fact that he is into domestic discipline feels like the icing on the cake. I don`t write much about any dd relevant events lately. This is because I am still trying to understand the deep impact that the "vanilla" aspects of the relationship are having on me. Just being with him, touching him, feeling him and at the times when we are thousands of miles apart, thinking of him, is enough to turn me on. Heck, I am wearing his socks today, and that alone is turning me on, lol.
There is no need to "manipulate " me into giving a spanking or wanting him to do things for me. I like to do that. Since starting my blog, I have become pretty courageous in living my dominant side. Domestic discipline does not scare me. I think it is hot indeed. But the "relationship" aspect is new to me.
I do not know all his boundaries and wishes and wants and needs yet. And I don´t want him to say: "Sorry, that`s not going to happen. This does not turn me on, this is not my cup of tea...". Because, even though it might sound strange and not dominant at all: My main goal is to make him happy. I just want to please him so much...And I don`t want to pressure him into dd at times when he is not in the mood. This has not been the case with some men I only exchanged a couple of emails with. The thought that they probably were not in the mood did not ever occur to me. I just went for what I wanted. But with my man, everything seems to be so different...