Wednesday, May 9, 2012

the meaning of punishment lines

Punishment lines... after I blogged about it, I received quite a few emails about it. And I feel the need to add  a couple of things:

Sometimes, very very rarely, I respond to men who ask me to give them punishment lines. I did it some months ago with a guy in Hong Kong who I do not know at all. I know nothing about him and I am not intending to start a deeper relationship with him. He was just lucky that he contacted me during a good time when I was bored and in the mood for some play. I made him write some lines, we used the fond of writing tool, he wanted to have a break in order to go to the bathroom, he did not get a break but had to write the lines with a full bladder instead. It was fun, but there was no depth between us.

Things are totally different with men who I know and with whom I have a deeper relationship.

After my post, a good and married online friend contacted me and asked me very nicely, if I would be willing to give him punishment lines. And with uncertain termes I declined his request. Actually, I was pretty direct and (without wanting it) offended him.  I later apologized to him, and things are ok again between him and I.

The reason why I gave the Hong Kong guy what he wanted but did not give it to the friend is:

It would have been too deep and too emotionally intense between the friend and me.

I know, I know, many of you think: whats the big deal with the fucking lines? Why is she making such a drama? All she needs to do is to tell the man to write one sentence X-times and that is all she has to do.

And to a certain degree thats right. This is exactly what I did with the Hong Kong man.

But as so often, the reality is much more complex. If I accept to start a scene with a man, I feel totally responsible for what happens. And it does not matter at all if the scene involves a serious otk spanking, a  belting or something as alledgedly harmless as telling a grown man to sit down and write some lines for me.

In all these situations I think it is my job to make sure that he does not get hurt, that he feels safe and loved and cared for. If a scene is going on, there is kind of a constant tension in my life.  I feel the need to stay in control and to react to new situations and adapt my behavior to his life situation.

I want the scenes to be custom made for the man`s needs and feelings. The number of lines given, the time until I expect the lines, the lengths of the lines, the text ...there is a lot to consider. Whenever I seriously start a scene, I am totally focused on the man and on his life.

It was not like this with the Hong Kong man, because it was EVIDENT that he was not interested in me as a person and I was not interested in him. It was just two adults playing. A matter of one or two hours. Nothing more.

But with people I care about, the "play" is not really "playing" but a serious matter. It touches the most private and hidden secrets and feelings of both the man and I. We might laugh and have fun , we might joke about it , but it does not change the fact that it is a serious matter.

If I tell a man to sit down and write a sentence over and over again, the message of the sentence better be perfectly fitting to the man`s needs. I know for sure that the results can be pretty damaging if the sentence is badly chosen or if the message is triggering some old, bad feelings.

Plus: The lines only mean much to me if it was indeed difficult for the man to write them. I like the fact that he had to focus for a pretty long time on whatever message it is that I want him to understand.

In closing:
Dont feel offended if I dont give you punishment lines. It is mostly a matter of me not having the energy to go as deeeply into the scene as I would need to. And it is mostly a matter of the man BEING important to me . Exactly because a man is important to me I don´t hand out punishment lines easily to him.


  1. I'd not really paid too much attention to punishment lines before I read your recent post on the subject and this latest one. I had to do lines several times at school and it was downright tedious. I prayed to be caned instead and get it all over with but sadly, it was an experience I was denied. But in the context of an flr I can now see the point. Our corporal punishment regime is an extension of something that began way, way back for me as a fascination with the cane. So even though the CP I suffer now is quite severe, there is still a tenuous link to pleasure. However the only pleasure I could see from a submissive's viewpoint in writing lines would be to know that I was pleasing Mistress. I would also be something to avoid in future so it would appear to be an effective deterent. Leslie Jones' suggestion of the Lady marking the lines for errors would seem to be an effective method of ensuring the lines were completed in a satisfactory manner - even if the punihsment for the slightest mistake would mean compelting the task a second time. I must remember not to discuss this method of punishment with Mistress.

  2. I think every word you say makes total sense.

    If I asked someone to set me lines it would be because of how I felt about that person, my trust in them, but I had not thought of what it would mean to them and I've learnt a lot reading this. You take it much more seriously and conscientiously than I have ever heard any one else describe. Kinda inspiring actually, and very impressive.