I just had a very pleasant phone conversation with a lawyer colleague of mine. The good news is, that he is writing the paper for me in the judicial case I mentioned two posts ago. This is an enormous relief to me. After weeks of trying to find a solution how to proceed in that matter...the solution is finally here. And on the last day possible! The judge wants to have the paper on the 25th of August.
With this terrible thing off of my desk, I suddenly found myself in a position with a few minutes to spare.
And I realised one thing as far as my trip to the US is concerned:
OMG, I AM SO NERVOUS...What on earth am I doing :-)
"Little Tina" alone in the States, far from home.
How will it be to meet the man in real life?
How am I supposed to behave when we meet for the first time?
What shall I say or do?
How will he react when he sees me?
Will he like me?
And will our expectations be fullfiled?
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, it `s all REAL now.
Over the last days I urgently wanted to talk with him about my feelings, because talking just calms me down.
He, on the other hand, would have needed for me to be quiet for a moment. To give him a chance to get used to the situation himself . Because he did not expect me to come so soon indeed. He actually had no clue! For some reason I made a decision to see him very soon. And I still think that was a smart decision! I only told him I would come after I did book a airplane ticket. How is that for female dominance, lol.
I think he is even more nervous than I am...I will give him the time he needs to process things. It took me a while to understand it, but I finally got it. I am a smart woman after all :-)
I am pretty sure that I will have fun with the man. Just doing regular things, like going for a walk, going to the beach, nothing spectacular. No matter if we should click or not in the kinky area. So in my opinion there is nothing for him to worry about. The thing is, he is putting himself under a lot of pressure. Pressure homemade by him :-)
So now I am sitting here, with nobody to talk to but you.
My german friends, who know that I fly to the US, do of course not know the "unusual" situation that stands behind my trip. I do not tell my VERY vanilla friends: "I opened an internet blog on domestic discipline, made contact with a man and am now flying thousands of miles in order to see him..."
Not even I would do that, even though I tend to not hide anything :-)
My life is an open book to the people around me. Sometimes my friends can not believe the things I am discussing with other people. Even my very fundamentalistic christian pastor, who is a very good friend, knows the whole story (but not the kinky/dd elements) about my journey of finding a good man. He is at loss of words, has no idea how to deal with the situation of me flying alone to the US, only to see a man...a man I have never met before...But he is wishing me the best :-)
Anyway, send me a word of support, will you?