Friday, May 27, 2011

christian faith and F/m domestic discipline

I wrote that post in 2011 and I still think it is true.

I am a Christian. I was baptized roman catholic and am lately going to a Lutheran church in my area. Even though I don`t go to a catholic mess too often, but prefer visiting Lutheran services, I would never change from being a catholic to becoming a Lutheran. My friend Tonja did that, and we talked about it a lot, but for me, the decision is made. I want to stay a member of the catholic church even though I know that there is a lot going on that is just wrong... But my roots are in the catholic church and I see no sense in cutting them off! So I will stay a member of that church and I will  keep trying to give the church new spirit from within :-)    

I want to live in tune with my Christian faith.My faith is important to me. There are many aspects that I do not understand and many things I don`t agree with,especially in context with the roman catholic church..., ( AND COULD ONE OF YOU GIVE ME AN UNDERSTANDABLE EXPLANATION OF THE CONCEPT OF TRINITY, lol, PLEEEEEAAAASSE...)  but generally, I consider myself a Christian.I believe in a loving and caring God, a God who will never let us down, a good shepherd who is interested in the well being of his flock. 

There is no doubt about the fact that domestic discipline and Christian faith are going very well together as long as the woman is the one who submits to the man. There are quite a few bible verses that point in that direction, e.g. "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (Ephesians 5:23)". 
Or this one: "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord" (Col 3: 18).

Generally speaking, it is often said that it is the woman`s job to serve the man. But as you all know, in my relationship, I am the one who wants to be on top. I want to be the one who administers domestic discipline.I want to be the "head" :-)

This seems to be a strong contradiction.I know. However, seriously, this has NEVER EVER given me the slightest headache at all. For me it is very easy to be a dominant woman and at the same time a faithful believer. And especially after having started to write a blog on F/m domestic discipline, I became even more convinced that it is absolutely ok to be a Christian woman and at the same time feeling an attraction to F/m  domestic discipline.

I am convinced that by being a dominant woman I am actually serving my man. I give him what he is longing for, I provide him with what he needs, I take care of things that he can not take care alone of. Ever given yourself a spanking? Not really hot or satisfying, IMO.

I would even argue that in most dd relationships, the one who is on top is actually serving the one who is on bottom.

When I opened my blog, I got e-mails from many, many men who wanted me to dominate them. There is without a doubt a lack of dominant women out there. And these men are craving the strong hands of a dominant woman.I am having what many men want from a woman. A sincere and loving and dominant heart.

Did you ever read Ms Marie`s blog ? I like it very much. She seems to be tough and dominant and fearless. And her man has to undergo quite a lot of really difficult and challenging tasks in order to fulfill her remarkable demands. But at the same time, it is clearly to be seen ( at least for me...) that she is putting a lot of thoughts into giving him exactly what he needs. The fact that she is enjoying it as well is a nice addition, but overall, I think the one who profits most from her newfound dominant behavior is her husband.She keeps telling in the blog, that it has not always been a femdom relationship between her and her husband. She says that in the early years of their marriage he was the one who called the shots. In the past, she was the one who was submitting to him. And I think, as strange as this might sound, this serving heart of her can still be seen in the new F/m relationship.

Take this picture for instance. Did you see how nicely she is dressed? I am sure you did. But the question is: why did she chose these hot clothes? she could have worn just any regular clothes. She knew she would whip him and that he would probably cry from the whipping. But there was no need for her to get dressed up for doing it. You know, there are no hot, long, leather boots needed to spank a man in the woods :-) And did you see how lovingly she puts her left arm on his butt? To me, this does not look threatening at all.

She might be strict with him, she might expect him to do things that many men just would not do, because they would be too afraid of doing it... but whatever she is ordering him to do, she ALWAYS keeps his well-being in mind.

Furthermore: I have been aproached by quite a few men who - without making much polite conversation- wanted me to dominate them verbally/in writing. In my very beginnings as a blogging woman, I once in a while answered these men and went along with what they wanted me to do. But whenever I did that, I felt as if I would be used by them and in a way I felt abused. These men did not see me, they did not see the person Tina, all they saw was a woman who could give them what they needed and wanted. After all of these "sessions" I felt as if I just had served a client. All of my focus had been on the man and -even though I like dd and dominating a man- it had not been too much fun for me. It felt too much as if I had just been used.

In my relationship with my man however, everything is different. I love my man. And I know he loves me. He made sure that I know he cares for me. And I think he has no doubt in his mind that I care for him too.Our relationship is based on a solid foundation of love, respect and trust. In such a relationship I don`t mind being dominant with him and by doing that, serving him.Don`t get me wrong, I generally like to be dominant, however, what I don`t like is the feeling of being used. With him, I never had the feeling of being used. It always felt right, whatever we were doing, vanilla or dd.

Me, personally, I chose a strong man. I am convinced that he is even stronger than I am ;-) In a way, if he is submitting to me, he is giving up his natural authority over me freely. He trusts me and loves me enough to hand over all control to me. And by doing that, he allows me to serve him.

How on earth could I not care for his well being ? Whatever I do, seriously, WHATEVER I do, I am always considering his well being too. I want him to be ok, I want him to get what he needs, I want him to be happy. And now tell my, don`t you think I am serving him? I surely do! And the woman serving the man, isn`t that what the bible tells us to do, lol ?


  1. What a wonderful post!

    Sounds like you get it, Tina. Bravo!

  2. Well you know the saying .... Once a Catholic :-)

    The Trinity - thats a really tough one. I think it says in St John "No one comes to the father except through me. I am in the Father and the Father is in me ,the Father and I are one"

    Well my father and I are one inasmuch as we share the same Genes.

    St Patrick explained it by reference to the Shamrock didnt he " A single plant but with four leaves"

    And finally ...with God all things are possible.

    I know that all of this is simplistic but Im not a Doctor of the Church and I know that if I tried to consult the experts I would only be more brain fried than before , so keeping it simple is the only way I can hold it.

  3. Love your post! It clearly depicts femdom as it is meant to be. But to be honest, I've a quite different image of MsMarie's blog.


  4. Tina - you hit on some interesting things in this post. One, the contradiction of femdom w/certain christian beliefs. Beliefs that I also adhered to for many years.

    Also, the idea of the dominant serving the submissive. I think you're right about that. It's not the same kind of service as you receive from a submissive - but there is a satisfying give and take in any femdom relationship.

    Thanks for the shout out. I appreciate your cyber friendship.


  5. @Stephen: I am no Doctor of the Church either. Actually, I am no doctor at all at this point of time. Thanks for reminding me :-)

    Seriously: Thanks for your comment. I really enjoy discussing theological stuff here on my domestic discipline blog. That is so much fun!

    And I agree with you that "keeping it simple" is the best approach to not lose one`s mind.

    @Jordan: Glad you like my post. Please keep reading and commenting.

    @Marie: I appreciate our cyber friendship too.I just know that you are a woman with a big heart!

    Some men might think you are cruel or mean. I clearly remember the "he is going to slip and fall and die in the icy river"-drama...But again, I just KNEW that you would always have his six. Because this is what I would do :-)

  6. Tina, I enjoy your blog very much! As a Christian, my explanation about the Trinity is this: They are 3 separate beings ( Father, Son, and Holy Spirit ) each having a distinct role to play in their interaction with us mere mortal beings, created for their edification!! The Father is FULLY in charge of the other personages; the Son is constantly in intercession for us; the Holy Spirit available to comfort us and give us direction in life and to empower us!!

    I don't believe that God cares who is "in charge" in a female-male relationship, as long as both partners are consensually getting one another's needs and desires met. It is only St. Paul who expressed his preferences as to who "should be in charge" since this was the tradition of the day.

    Unfortunately, I disagree with your opinion concerning Ms. Marie. She has stated that her relationship with her husband has never been romantic, that her "affection" to him is narcissistic; she is NOT concerned about his pleasure or comfort; she constantly contrasts their relation before and after their M/s relationship; she is "sadistic" reveling in his begging and screaming during his punishment with her "enjoying" every minute of it!! In my view, this is NOT a positive F/M relationship, but to each his/her own as long as every action rendered is CONSENSUAL!!

    Thanks for letting me "rant" and carry on a conversation with you!


  7. The helpful Christian principle is that we are to submit ourselves one to another. The details of what this looks like may be determined by the people involved. Another reference in Chapter 5 is that husband is willing to lay down hisife for his beloved.

  8. @Bob: Rant on as much as you want :-) As I said: I enjoy "talking" with you all.

    Hmmmm, I am not quite sure about the part of the "Holy Spirit". Need to think about your explanation a bit.

    As for Marie: it is not my job to defend her....
    I still think she is a loving wife. The thing is, she is giving him exactly what HE needs. And he needs the feeling of being "forced" to do stuff. He needs the feeling as if she would not care, but Bob, I don`t believe for a moment that she is not deeply in love with him. She is giving him way too much for not being truly in love with him :-)

  9. @Anonymous: Well said. I agree!

  10. Tina - I think that you have a more accurate view of me than most. I couldn't have said it better myself. Indeed, if he had never revealed his own desires to me a couple of years ago... i'd likely still be vanilla. But, my type of domination is very raw to many and I accept that. Are you planning to maintain both blogs?


  11. @Marie: it is very strange with you and me. I never contacted you personally, because I felt that I understand you already :-)

    That´s probably also a reason why I talk about you quite a bit on my own blog. You just help me to express my thoughts better.

    As for the question if I maintain both blogs? Not sure.Probably yes. I might need the other blog to vent...The year 2011 is definitely a challenging year for me. One of my best friends has been diagnosed with cancer just recently.

    And with my man so many miles away, it is hard to tell if I will have much to share on the dd front in the near future.

    In a way it is very interesting for me to see that some men are so scared of you.I did not expect that. It surprises me indeed.

    Oh, and one more thought: I just love the face pics with your man dressed up as a woman and pouting.Usually I am not at all interested in cross dressing. But your pouting man definitely made my day, lol.