to clench or not to clench :-)

....that is the question :)

In my "figging" post  I mentioned that the man clenching his butt cheeks makes a hand spanking much more difficult. A ginger root would definitely help to solve that little "problem". But thinking about it, I realized that there is much more to say to the "clenching question".

It is true that I prefer for the man to "unclench" his butt cheeks while being spanked. He should do nothing to make the woman´s job difficult. Bottom line: "Stop wriggling, stop clenching and get your hands out of the way." These ground rules are very easy to understand and not too demanding, don`t you agree, lol.

But, and here comes a big but: At the same time I think it is kind of "boring", only half the fun so to speak, when the man is not moving at all and absolutely passivley and very stoically, just accepting whatever the lady chooses to hand out.

IMHO, for the woman, here is the line between
being a mean, heartless and sadistic bitch who is hurting a man she does not really care about
and
being a loving and considerate woman who is disciplining her man for some unacceptable behavior or deeds.

I want to see that it is difficult for the man to accept what I am handing out. I want to be sure that it is no walk in the park for him. I want to see him struggle to stay in position. I want to see him fight internally to fullfil my demands. I want to be sure that I am actually making an impression.

But most of all, I want to see him actually submitting himself to my authority. I want him to be active. I want him to actively participate in the punishment. I want to see him honestly comply with what I am doing.

That is probably one of the reasons why I have not used any bondage yet. See, in my way of thinking, once the man is in bondage, he just has to accept. There is nothing he can do to get out of the situation. In a way he is "forced" to take what the woman is handing out.

But me, personally, I like to see him staying in the situation by his own will, determination and resolve alone. For me, the fact that he is submitting himself to my authority is a token of love from him to me. And that token gets bigger the harder it is for him to do what I want him to do.

As for the clenching question:
Actually I don`t mind if a man clenches his butt cheeks in order to better deal with the pain. It is absolutey ok. I mean, lets not candy-coat the reality: Spankings do hurt.....The pain is real...
But in a perfect scenario, I would want him to relax his butt again before each new slap :-)