Saturday, April 21, 2012

early bed times and loss of privileges

With the right guy, age play is great. It can be unbelievably hot to treat a grown man like a young boy. I said many times that I think early bed times, groundings and loss of privileges are effective domestic discipline tools. I used all of these punishments. And it has always been fun for me and very hard for the man.

In a way it is easier to accept a spanking than accepting being sent to bed at an early time or being grounded for some time. I think this is due to the fact that the man can be pretty passive while getting a spanking. It hurts, it is a bit embarassing but at the same time the person being spanked is getting a lot from the spanker. Time, dedication, attention, touching, scolding, ...the spanker gives a lot. And the submissive partner gets it all. The submissive partner is in the center of  the spankers attention. It is pretty much impossible to spank somebody and not give him my full intention.

Adding to this the fact that as a good loving and caring dominant woman I think it is my duty to make sure that I do not actually "hurt" him in  a bad way, I need to pay attention to his words and body language all the time. I might be angry with him and punish him for his acts, but I will always make sure that he is safe and knows that he is loved.

All he has to do is: submitting to my dominance. Once he is over my knees, he is receiving what I am giving him.

In regards to early bed times, groundings and loss of privileges however, the man is not receiving much. Instead, important things are taken away from him. He does not get my attention. He does not feel me. I dont care much if he is ok, because I already KNOW that he won`t be harmed. It might hurt his male ego a bit, but this is exactly what I am intending, so, I am not worried about it :-)  In these scenarios he is not the center of my attention. Far from it. I might have fun or be on the phone with a friend, while he is sent to bed alone with nothing to do but trying to fall asleep or waiting for me to follow him to bed. This makes submitting really hard. And I cannot tell you often enough how much it means to me when a man submits to me in such a way.


  1. Sacher-Masoch wrote that the cruelest thing his Mistress ever did was to ignore him completely; it drove him mad with need.
    You have (once again) described the psychology behind domestic discipline perfectly. I would often misbehave to try to provoke a spanking, to feel myself laid out across a lap with her hand or hairbrush reddening my bottom. But if my behaviour instead resulted in cornertime or lines or some other form of isolation, I would be sure to never repeat it.
    That said, though, there is still a strong current of erotocism running through ANY punishment a dominant woman bestows on her man. I would rather spend the entire afternoon writing lines, only to be sent to bed at 6:00 without supper, than be subject to the shrill nagging of a vanilla spouse.
    Welcome back, Tina. Your insights have been missed.

  2. When a dominant woman has to punish a submissive man at a regular basis, I think there is something wrong within that relation, as punishment is usually based on a conflict. Regular punishments would denote regular conflicts.

    It might be the case, he tests her authority, but then after some lapse of time
    it should stop. When the testing goes on and on for ever, it could be concluded the lady is unable to show her authority, or the submissive male
    does for some reason not really accept her authority.
    There are men who deliberately act up, just to provoke getting corporal punishment. In certain circles this kind of behavior is called 'bratting'.
    However, bratting can lay a heavy load on a relation. He raises conflicts to get attention, but conflicts eventually ruin any relation.

    Personally I prefer a relation where rising conflicts can be talked out in a mature, adult way. And yes some men are spanked for leaving the seat of the toilet up or leaving the bathroom in a mess. But why keep acting in such an immature way which causes discomfort on your dominant partner.

    But what does spanking do in a relation and is it really so the spanker gives all and the person spanked gets all? I think there is much more.
    Many men who get spanked by their dominant partner put her on a pedestal.
    I think it has something to do with the fact we men were, during the fist years of our lives, raised and disciplined by women. They adore a strong and powerfull lady and are very willingly to serve her. To put it bluntly, spanking can be a way fo investment, to create a certain mindset in the submissive man.


  3. I think you're right on with this post. There's a deeper psychological impact when all you, as the Domme do, is make a simple decision that will have an effect on your submissive for some specific amount of time. It's effect in my opinion not only lasts much longer than a spanking, but has a much more significant impact.

    Treating an adult male like a child in this way requires little effort on your part, but in the context of a D/s relationship, can bring many rewards.


  4. imho there are two different situations we have to mention:

    1) my misbehaviour disturbs my Mistress and hinders her to do what She wants to do. then it is necessary that She gets the needed space and time and privacy. in this case cornertime or punishment lines or early bedtime will work, sometimes i am being put in my detention cell.

    2) my Mistress is very upset because of my failure. then She needs an opportunity to let off steam. and then She takes the paddle or the cane and my bottom has to suffer.

    both situations are possible and no reaction should be out of order. my first aim is to obey my Mistress regardless which way She chooses.


  5. It is sexy when a dominant woman takes control and tells me what to do. I have to admit that as a sub I usually enjoy this. Loss of privilege and being treated like a child could be hot if executed with the right attitude and in the right context. As I get older I find I am having trouble staying up late anyway so the forced bedtime would have to be pretty early. Still...

  6. I'm sorry for responding so late to this post but also wanted to tell you how elated I am to see that you are back online.

    One added refinement of early bedtime is communicating the fact that he has been so punished to other women who know him. It will be quite humiliating when you offhandedly mention to a friend within his hearing that "---- misbehaved and has been made to go to bed quite early as a punishment."