I have a feeling, that the following post will get me tons of raging emails again.But so be it. I am by now used to standing in the heat...
As far as domestic discipline is concerned, I am not that much interested in a man`s body. I like great male bodies, make no mistake about that.I like to see it and touch and tease and caress and spank. Sure,thats cool.And there are times when I want to do just that. But for me, generally speaking, my partner`s mind is of much more interest. For me,to focus on his body is just a way of getting a grip on his mind.
If I tend to not talk that much about my own body, it is probably because for me, the body is not that important. I do not stand in front of a mirror endlessly each day and admire my own body. My brother, the actor, does that and frankly I think it is ridiculous.I am fine with my body these days. Being a woman, it wasn´t always like this, but today I think "take it or leave it". I know that I look good. Not much more to add here.
I often get questions like:
"what is your favorite implement?"
"Would you ever use a cane?"
"How would you punish me if I would be misbehaving?"
"Would you ever make me stand in the corner?"...
And as a good lawyer, the only answer I can give to these kinds of questions is:
It depends on you and the situation.
There is not just one answer. I would not (and actually do not) treat all men the same.For instance I actually did send a man to bed early while I never in life would have done that with another guy.It´s a matter of what is the best way to really touch my partner to the quick.
It does not come as a surprise to you, if I tell you, that I want to make a D/s exchange a deep experience for me and for the man. A scene that is only cool for me, but not at all for my partner, does not work for me either. Of course I enjoy his discomfort and unease, but I can only enjoy it when I know that he is actually (somewhere deep in his stomach) fine. I do believe in respecting my partners limits.I think that the real "art" is to make the guy "suffer" within his limits.
However, in my understanding, to actually "play" it on a high and interesting level, it is important to know the man pretty well. In order to really get to a man`s mind, I need to know how the guy thinks, what drives him, what he is afraid of, where his sore spots are. And I like doing that. I like people and I like getting to know them better and getting an understanding why they are the way they are.
Implicit in my approach to any relationship is that, in order to open the man up, I need to put in a lot of thoughts, feelings, concern and not to forget time myself. I am investing a lot and I did get my share of violations on that road, no doubt about that. Of course I like to hear that a guy offers to fly in to Germany next week, just to meet me. But I do not like to hear at all that he only wants me to be his dominatrix and nothing more. I see no gain in meeting a man just to spank him, make him orally pleasure me and, I don´t know... use a strapon on him.There are women out there who offer these services,I am fine with that but I am not one of them.I want much more. I do not only want to lay bare my partners bottom but his mind as well.
I realy love those statements. Exploring body, mind and soul, stripping them nude and then playing with them, that's art. This makes both oprts trembling in lust and deepens love nad trust. Everything is touched... a dream :)
ReplyDeleteI thought your position was logical and right on so I don't se why you should get any reging emails.
ReplyDeleteFD
Where I understand much of what you say, I would have to say that for me an important aspect of Domestic Discipline is not being taken to my limit. For me, the drive is being taken beyond my limit, to an area where I've lost all control and completely in her hands.
ReplyDeleteThe spanking is to be feared because it will be long and painful beyond my imagination but the memory and the after pain just remind me of how hard she worked to take me to that place where we were so close and connected.
HerKnee, dont you think the Mstress of the House knows best where to take you? If She decides to take you beyond your limits or prefers to be lient with You, its Her decission and you should be happy the one way or the other :) Perhaps She decides to give you some corner time or will send you to bed realy early, it's up to Her. You should be happy to be corrected and try to be a better slave in future :)
ReplyDeleteDear Mrs. Starke Frau, I've been monitoring the www since the very beginning. I've been living in such a relationship for more than 29 years - just the other way round. It is the very first time for me that I met somebody with thoughts and opinions that match me 100 %. That's being said I do wish you a succesful search. You're worth it. Greetings from Hannover, Germany Der starke Mann
ReplyDeletehis_obedience: Wir deutschen Juristen verstehen uns einfach.Da muss man gar nicht viel erklären. :-)
ReplyDeleteFD: I do get the strangest emails even though I am almost always logical and right on.
HerKnee: well, the question with the limits...You are ready to go "to an area where I've lost all control and completely in her hands". And I am willing to lead my man there. But then, I would never take him beyond his limits. Thats why it is so important to know the guy very good. If he tells me e.g. he does not want to have a third party involved, I would never bring a third person in. (And dont get any ideas. I am not interested in that anyway...)
It is much more difficult to respect some limits and still treat him in a way he (almost) can not stand. But it is possible. And it is possible to bring him at the brink of going nuts, even within his limits.
Anonym: In Hannover scheint ja tatsächlich etwas los zu sein.Mit dem zukünftigen Bundespräsidenten, dem ehemaligen Bundeskanzler und dann mit dir... :-)
ja, Starke Frau, herzlichen Dank für die nette Antwort, die mich erröten läßt, da man Superlative bekanntlich nicht steigern kann...;-)
ReplyDeleteLimits... an interesting question. I don't think there is any person without limits. The realy interesting question is, who wil set those limits in a M/s relationship. Is it the slave/sub? For myself I experienced the best way to set a limit is talking and communicating openly and honestly from the start on. Both possible partners will learn a lot about the other one, both can see if they realy match, if desires and needs, likes and dislikes are compatible. Knowing the other one by that much better and developing the relationship carefully made the point. No limits were set but the same time no limit was broken. My former Mistress did know where She could take me just by looking at me and my wellbeing. And boy, She did. There was no need for limits and no need for a safeword, ne need to hold Herself back. W/we could experience things, we never thought we would go there... and W/we enjoyed that a lot. A relationship is an ongoing process. Both parts will develop, likes and dislikes are probably changing in time. Going that way together will deepen the realationship and the love you feel.
ReplyDelete