I only hand out punishments if I think the man`s behaviour demands my reaction. If my future partner was very well behaved, I would not punish him. In my view, a punishment is supposed to change the demeanour of the person punished. If my partner was well behaved, nothing needs to be changed. In that case I am going to make sure he has no doubt about how happy I am with his conduct.
But calm down, all you readers who are thinking "too bad". What is the likelihood of a man being in a relationship with a strong, dominant women and not sliping up?
Generally speaking, I do not punish for accidents. Accidents just happen. If there was no intent on my partners side, I am pretty sure we can find a mutual solution.
I am not so sure about "maintenance" spankings. I did not arrive at a decision as far as these are concerned. It probably depends on the man and his ability to obey me in general.
There is no doubt however that I am going to punish my man, if he does not stick to the deals we made or if he neglects the rules I set. In law school I `ve been taught: "pacta sunt servand". It basically means: "stick to your word or die trying it". This saying has become second nature to me. Therefore I am going to make sure my partner understands it too and acts accordingly. If we agreed upon him not coming home late, he better comes on the dot. If it was his turn to clean the kitchen, the kitchen better be sparkling. If he promised to stop smoking, I do not want to nab him with a cigarette.
There can also be situations where I make my man to accept unpleasant decisions "just because I can". My reasoning behind that is: I do want my partner to keep his strong points. I want him to have an interesting life. I support him to succeed in his job. I encourage him having hobbies and/or doing sports. Therefore I am allowing him great latitude. However, If I have the impression that his attitude towards me is slacking, I am going to make sure he understands that he can not proceed that way.
To me, "early bed times" are an interesting sanction. I am determined of implementing that action in any future relationship. As far as punishment is concerned, I understand many men are only interested in the spanking part. However, spankings combined with other forms of punishments might be much more effective.
In case he screws up, my future partner has to be able to stomach being send to bed by me at a very early time. I know this is hard to take and mortifying but I am not going to refrain from handing out that punishment. I want him to undress and go to bed. No reading, no phoning, lights out and shutters down. And if I think it is time for him to go to bed, I do absolutely not want to get in an argument about it with him. Even if the soccer world cup final is on tv. The fact that he is not tired is of no interest to me either. Far from it. I like the idea of him being forced to lay in bed even though he is wide awake. Gives him the possibility to deliberate his prior behaviour. I want him to understand that even if I let him his space in many aspects, I am still the decision maker in our relationship.