it comes from a place of love and concern

In his recent post,

http://maamyesmaam.blogspot.com/2010/09/flr-dd-win-win.html

wdspoone is addressing the female point of view as far as domestic discipline is concerned. Since I did not post much kinky thoughts recently, here my two cents. And btw., while writing that post I realised that for me the reasons to like dd are mostly vanilla :-) Sorry. I have been willing to share some really hot thoughts with you, but as you will see, I ended up writing pretty much about vanilla things...

Sure, for a dominant woman like me, the aspect of having power and control is cool.

Or to be more specific: it´s hot :-)  It turns me on quite a bit!

To have a man do as I tell him to do...well, that is still so unusual and unfamiliar to me, but nevertheless it thrills me in ways I can hardly describe. 

To me, it is not so interesting to always start a heavy and long "hardcore" sex scene with a man. I am generally willing to do that and I (think I might) enjoy it once in a while, but mostly I prefer the subtle things. Little orders that make clear that I am in charge.

Most of the vanilla things of life can be turned into a dd relevant experience anyway. For instance: Dinner needs to be prepared. Thats a given. And in my understanding of a partnership one of the partners has to do it anyway. And I am not hesitating to be a "good wife" for my man :-) So I will do it myself quite often. But there might be times when I want him to prepare the meal. In that situations I will tell him in uncertain terms what I want him to do. And I expect him to go and do it without much fuss. There is not much kink in telling somebody to get dinner ready. However, in my opinion, its more a question of how to tell him that it is his turn to prepare the meal today.

I think I am usually pretty laid-back. A lot of my time I am busy with making people around me feel good. Therefore it will be very easy to understand for a man when I am in dominant mood.Which is a good thing, because I have been told that men are not as good in reading minds as women are :-)  When I am in dominant mood, the usually very kind and giving "Tina" will change into a strict and not wavering woman. All I need for that transformation to happen is the conviction that I am actually wanting the right thing and that I am not asking too much from my man. But once I am sure that these conditions are met, I don`t hesitate to make my partner do as I tell him to do.

However, as I stated many times before, for me, its not about making the man feel bad. I just enjoy having the possibility of  impacting  another persons life. For me, personally, domestic discipline is a way of expressing my raw feelings. And thats why I would never start any dd things with a man I am not deeply connected with.

In my life, domestic discipline is about...

• taking care of him
• letting him know about my feelings
• wanting him to be happy in his life
• providing him with some structure if he should need it
• preventing him from doing stupid things
• stopping his inappropriate behavior

And, hold your breath, all you submissive men out there: At least for me, a big part of it is also about...

• serving him
• wanting to be there for him. 
• fulfilling his needs. 
• giving him whatever he needs at any given situation.

Despite all the good reasons why I like domestic discipline, there is still the fact that the man will not always enjoy fulfilling my demands.As hot as "submitting" to a woman might sound in theory, the reality is often different.Writing lines is in most cases not fun. Doing the laundry for hours..., being sent to a corner or given a real spanking...not always fun.

I do not think that dd is helping me to be a better person. Its almost the opposite. I am pretty sure that I am doing ok in life. I mean, I am a human being, I do have my faults and problems. But my general feeling is that I am doing a fantastic job already in feeling guilty about my own failures and flaws. So I do not need dd in order to address these issues. :-)

For me it`s still a big deal if I, in a dd scenario, order the man around. Because in some way, me being the "Big Boss" does not quite fit in my understanding of myself. And being demanding and strict feels not always right to me. So in a way, dd is sometimes giving me the impression of NOT being a good person. Does this make sense to you?

I can tell you, that I am at all times aware of my responsibility towards the man in my life. Thats why I do not "play" with peoples feelings. I have written here many times that I expect a man to open up to me. To let me know whats going on within him. And that expectation, combined with the fact that the man is submitting to me in a domestic discipline way of life, puts him in a very vulnerable position.I do know that. That`s why it takes a very strong man, to be "my man".

I realised some time ago, that it needs a man who is very strict on himself,  a man who is expecting high standards from himself, in order to enter a domestic discipline relationship. Not one single man who ever wrote me in regards to this blog did seem to be a "player" (for the lack of a better word).In my experience, the men attracted by the dd- type of lifestyle are in general much more reliable, earnest and dependable than the rest of the male species.

And I am truely convinced, that sometimes it is the job of a dominant woman to prevent the man from punishing himself too much. Its her job to step in and stop him from beating himself up far more than he actually deserves. Wdspoone says:

I am strongly motivated to be a better man, to be a better partner, to be a better lover, to be a better citizen to name a few.

I am truely convinced that the man writing these words is already a fantastic man. From an objective point of view, there is no need for him to try to be even better.Ok, it might be an american thing...Always wanting to be better and bigger and more successful :-) Sorry , could not resist...

So the question is: what do I want ?

And here I think I am pretty much in sync with all women on this planet: I want my man to be a rock for me. I want him to comfort me when I feel sad. I want him to listen to my neverending stories (or at least pretend to listen...). I need a man who respects me. A man who accepts me just the way I am. A partner who makes me laugh. A man who is smart enough to understand my crazy thoughts.

Do I need dd in order to have all that? I don`t think so. I am sure there are men out there who are giving all that to their ladies without submitting to domestic discipline. On the other hand: If a man is submitting to me, if he is accepting my decisions, even if he might not like them too much, there is no need for him to convince me with words that he cares about me. His actions speak louder as words could.