virginity and submission

When I started  my blog last year, I had not had much sexual experience.

To tell you the truth, I was still a virgin. I had never given myself to a man.

I had kissed a man, I had given a  hand job to a man, I had faked an orgasm when a man was touching me, but nothing more.

(Yes, I am serious.... you can close your mouth now. And btw I know about 3 or 4 hot women in her thirties who are still virgins...)

In a way, my blog life was a jump start into exploring my own sexuality. I was really fed up with the fact that I had never exerienced what it felt like to be in a partnership with a great man, to touch him,to feel him, to do all the "interesting" things with him. I was not so much missing the sexuality but more the emotional feeling of closeness and belonging.

I was not shy or fearful  as far as sexuality is concerned. I have always been open and frank about all things related to sexuality. I started masturbating when I was about 15 years old, and I am sure, as far as the "masturbation frequency" goes, I can compete with many of the male readers here :-)

Due to the crazy life of my father, I had always known what is going on in the world as far as sexuality is concerned. He did not molest me or anything, but he always shared his lovelife openly with me. Even at a time when I was not ready to hear about it yet.

In hindsight, domestic discipline and D/s was the perfect way for me to experience what I have been longing for in the past for many many years. My man was able to surrender himself to me in a way that still takes my breath away.

When I flew to him for the first time, both of us had to get used to each other. Which was to be expected. I basically just moved into his place. He had no chance of getting rid of me .... I was suddenly in his life.

And it went perfectly well.

Of course, there were a few challenging moments for both of us, but the fact that he agreed to me being the dominant one, even though I was in reality the "weaker", or "less experienced" one, made things very easy for me. His wonderful submission allowed me to live my dreams, allowed me to experience myself in ways I had only dreamed about.

I remember clearly thinking: That is so good, so easy, things are just flowing between us.

I have never asked him about it, but I guess my man could just feel that even though I was pretty dominant to him on some occasions, I would never actually harm him. And right now, when I am thinking at him, I feel like a loving mother for a child. I care about him on so many levels. I admire him for his knowledge. I can look up to him because he is older and more experienced. I love the way he treats me, so caring, so polite. And sometimes I just want to kick his butt ;-)

And I love that he gives me so much power.

The submissive male is actually the one who decides if and how far a woman can be dominant with him.

If you look at the picures of Ms. Marie and her husband, you can see that he is way taller and stronger than she is. And even though she sometimes uses restraints on him, there is no chance that she could actually treat him the way she does, if he would not agree to it. Shock collar or not ;-)

In the videos that servingB is posting, he is on the bed without any restraints at all. He could get up easily, but he accepts freely whatever B hands out.

And for me as a woman, such an attitude is fantastic. It is a sign of love one just can not get outside the d/s world.

I did not decide to have sex with a man in a vanilla relationship. Never really had it. There was just not enough incentive for me to surrender to any vanilla man.

But to my man, who surrendered himself to me, I will always submit unconditionally.