Wednesday, May 5, 2010

i am still surprised

I am still not over the fact, that there are men out there who are generally willing to start living in a domestic discipline relationship. I did not dare to dream that big.... Of course, I always knew that such relationships do exist. But knowing that and getting real life offers is something totally different.

Another new and important factor for me is, that it seems to be possible indeed to combine my dominant side with my need to be caring and be cared for. I learned, that as a dominant woman it is still possible to ask for a pampering and for some cuddeling. Here again, I just did not believe that I could get everything at the same time. Due to the lack of a real life dd-relationship I did watch many spanking and femdom videoclips. However, in most of them I just missed the genuine love and care for the partner. Too many clips are just about administering "empty pain". And this is not at all what I am interested in. To me, the "administering pain aspect" gets only interesting, if there´s a deep understanding, trust and love between the partners. In my world, there is no need to make my partner miserable just to make him miserable. Far from it. I want my man to flourish.Want him to use and live all his gifts and talents.


  1. You have it right Tina. The man who becomes your partner will be a lucky man.

  2. > still possible to ask some cuddeling.

    Every good relationship needs to include cuddling :-)
    Seriously - that's a must.

    > I did watch many spanking and femdom videoclips.
    > However, in most of them I just missed the genuine
    > love and care for the partner.
    > Too many clips are just about administering
    > "empty pain".

    I couldn't agree more. In some clips the woman addresses the man as "a piece of shit". What kind of relationship is that? I guess none (at best). By acting that way the woman actually disqualifies herself in my eyes.

    Without genuine care, without the purpose to actually help the man ("it's for your own good") it's empty pain (or maybe some sort of revenge or reparation).

    Further on I find it really disappointing when the woman ends the punishment with "now get out of my sight". That shows that she is still angry and the man should still feel guilty. I could understand that she tells him to leave the room for chores, time to contemplate or to prepare for a continuation. But "now get out of my sight" feels like unfinished business. I'm missing the love and care. A woman can be strict, firm and stern but there must be a deeper connection between the two persons.

    Otherwise - well - otherwise it's simply not enough for me.

    Kind regards


  3. Totally agree, Tina. You have the right idea about DD dynamic. Now you know what to look for. Good luck! Mike

  4. Tina,

    My name is Randy, I recently found your blog and have really enjoyed it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You truly have a wonderful insight into what you want and desire.

    You mentioned in your post "Can I really go for MY fun?" That you wanted new people to comment in your blog. I wanted to write here first but would be honored to be able to write you at your email address. I hope you are having a wonderful day and thank you again for sharing this blog! Randy

  5. Thanks for the friendly comments.

    Randy, I am looking forward to receiving a mail from you.

  6. You'd never know it from reading the blogs but there are more femdom women and sub men than the other way around.

    Good luck in finding the sub man you're looking for.

    And, yes, a good femdom takes care of her man just as a good dom takes care of his sub.


  7. I think a real domestic discipline relationship is more about true love and true acceptance than anything else. It is unbelievably intimate and special. I would never want any other kind now. The only thing I would change is for my wife to be stricter and more in control - it makes me feel so close to and loved by her when I feel that boundary. I won;t say it makes me love her more, but it makes it easier for me to feel and show the love I do feel - which is huge.