Shortly after opening my blog, when the whole D/s or domestic discipline concept was still new to me, I read the following lines.
"The submissive is, in their own way, demanding. In particular, the submissive demands attention and a lot of it. It looks to me like that's inherent in the relationship and not a matter of the submissive acting badly. If someone is going to be in control they have to pay attention. "
When I first read these words, I was sure that I would have no problems dealing with the demands of a submissive man or even submissive men. Alone the idea of getting in contact with a submissive man seemed to be so unrealistic. Even though it did not bother me at first, I had these aforementioned words in the back of my mind since then. I somehow knew that they would become relevant to me one day. And I was so right...! Today I do know a lot about men and their huge expectations towards me. Even though they do not know me in persona. Maybe that makes it even worse, because for some readers I seem to be that mystic woman who could possibly fulfill all their wishes, fantasies and demands. I know that I can be pretty open. I do talk about my preferences in a frank way. And I like to question people about the things they would like to do. I want to know how people "tick". On the one hand that is quite a strenghts of mine.On the other hand it can bring me in a vulnerable position as well. Because, as I mentioned many times earlier, in "real life" I am not as experienced as one might think. (If you like discrepancies, then you might be at the right place with me...). I have no problems with "opening up" to others. And I do my best to make others feel good.Whatever needs the others might have...
I think it all leads to the question: "what´s in it for me?" And I can say one thing for sure: If the man is not (at least theoretically) interested in having a relationship with me, than there is indeed NOTHING in it for me. I need to have the feeling that the man cares about me in general, not only as far as sexual aspects are concerned. Of course I do realise that it takes time and luck and many other things to find the right partner for a relationship.And even more of these things if you are searching the right person for a domestic discipline relationship. However, I need to know that the guy is accepting any punishment I hand out because it is ME who wants him to accept it. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I realise that for me a very interesting aspect is, that the man, in order to make ME feel good, does things or accepts punishments he would normally not do.
And one last, spanking related, thought: There´s another thing I learned lately about me and what I want.
I do not want to make my partner feel bad about crying in front of me. I have been told that there are women out there who show an attitude like: "this needed to happen, and you're crying, but it's not because of weakness, it's because it's part of it....." Thats´s exactly the way I want to be too.