Saturday, July 23, 2011

dd and tears

Most of the time it is very easy for the woman in a domestic discipline relationship to serve the man`s need. Teasing, sexual attention, a self confident demeanor, some corporal punishment and a bit of orgasm denial usually work very well.

The thing is, a woman, any woman can do these things without getting emotionally involved with the man. A woman does not need to be in love with a man in order to give him a proper spanking. There is no need for the woman to get emotionally involved in the scene at all. In a way, the person doing these things to the man is exchangeable. The whole concept of paid dominatrixes works like that. The woman is doing something in order to make the man happy without actually really caring about the man.

From what I hear and read, for men, going to a paid domme can be a very fullfiling and great experience. And that is absolutely ok. Good for these men. I am always happy if people do have a good time :-) 

In a relationship with me, I think the much harder part is on the man´s side. To make me really happy he needs to do much more. At least for me, it is very important that the man is valueing "me", as a person. It is not possible to make me happy without getting emotionaly involved with me. In order to give me a good sexual experience, I need to have a long foreplay. Foreplay not necessarily in a sexual kind of way, but in a "babe, I am genuinely and honestly interested in your well being" way. I need to be sure that I am not exchangeable with another woman.

And that is, why for me it is really important that my partner is willing to share tears in front of me. If the man is  willing to cry in front of a woman is usually the litmus test if  she is only "a" woman or "the" woman.


  1. Hi Tina,

    Again, I think you have things exactly right. I also think that being spanked to tears would be a wonderful emotional-bonding experience.


  2. Michael, as always: a pleasure getting a comment from you :-)

  3. Very interesting viewpoint, thought provoking


  4. When Cathy is upset with me and is spanking me from that place I cry quite easily, and yes it is something that I am more than willing to do. In fact I'm deeply want to and am grateful for being able to. Crying into her lap after a beating is very important for me and I feel closer then that at any other time because all my defenses are gone and I am totally vulnerable to her.

  5. @Chris: thought provoking is always good :-)

    @Scally: You and me, we just talk the same emotional language. (my English efforts are of course not comparable to your proper English, lol.)

  6. Hallo Tina!
    Ich bin Scally's Frau.

    Dies ist eine wunderbare Einträg! Ich fühle mich wirklich gleich.

    (Tut mir leid wenn mein Deutsch ist schlecht. Ich bin Autodidakt)

    Machs gut :)
    Cathy x

  7. Tears during punishment seem to me to indicate the unconditional surrender of the punished, free of mind games and machinations. A pure time. Lovely.

  8. @cathy: Vielen Dank!

    @msscarletuk: Thank you!