Saturday, July 30, 2011

I wanna scold :-)

I really would like to be able to scold properly !

You might not believe it, but it takes me actually a long time to write these posts. My English is, (as you can see easily... ,) far from perfect.

This usually does not matter too much. Most of the time I am able of making you all  understand what I am wanting to say.  And my man is pretty good at reading my mind by now. With him, I usually do not need any words at all :-)

However, good English skills would really be useful in my relationship as far as scolding is concerned.

I am a woman who is used of using words. I like words, I like writing and I like talking. I spend most of my day doing nothing but dealing with words. And I can be really creative with words. I do know how to attack somebody, how to calm somebody down or how to comfort somebody by using words alone. That is not difficult at all for me.

There is only one area in my life where I can not always easily resort to words. And that is as far as scolding in a dd setting is concerned.

My personal guess is, this is because if I want to scold properly, I need to do just too many things at the same time.  :-) I need to know exactly what I want to say, it is essential for me to be really pissed off, it is necessary to speak in a stern and dominant manner, I need to  watch his body language in order to see if I am making any impression on him at all  and I need to speak fluently.

Doing these things all together and in a different language is still impossible for me. And that is a pitty :-) I really would love to give good scoldings. For me, words are an essential part of a good dd scene. And me, word lover who I am, me of all people I can not use scolding too much as part of a punishment session....
Life is just not fair :-)


  1. Hello, Tina.

    How about making him learn German?

    I'm a person who - like you - loves words. And if I had a permanent partner who speaks a different language, I'd by all means try to get him learn my language, as well as I do with his/hers. You seem to know his language much better than he knows yours.

    Besides the fact that being able to speak a foreign language is a big advantage (and being so lucky to have a mothertongue speaker at hand not just as your teacher but also as your partner is great!), it's also a question of fairness, isn't it. Our mothertongue is our "home", especially if you are a person who loves words. I'd feel very uneasy, if I couldn't feel also verbally "at home" when being with my partner.

    So, why not starting language lessons with "Understanding German Scoldings"?


  2. I think scolding is the main part of wife led discipline. Without spanking it can sound like nagging, but with the power and authority of spanking behind it, scolding become a powerful release of feelings and provision of verbal clarity – which a man needs.

    Cathy scolds very well, and I find that what she says while she is spanking me that bite deepest into me. The spanking allows me to surrender to what she says (i.e. my male ego is shut up by the spanks), and I respond to her much more. In fact, it is what she says that makes me cry.

  3. By the way ... do you know this poem by Erich Fried? He lived in London for many years, and his poem deals with the inability to express love with words if both partners aren't "at home" in their respective languages.

    Zwei Sprachen

    Ich will sagen:
    "Ich habe dich lieb"
    Das kann ich nur sagen
    in meiner Sprache
    oder in deiner Sprache
    oder es gar nicht sagen
    aber ich habe dich lieb

    Wenn ich sagen will
    daß du mir fehlst
    dann fehlt mir die Sprache
    die dir so nah ist wie mir
    aber du fehlst mir

  4. Ah yes, it must be very frustrating Tina! But I'm sure that as you become more comfortable with using English, it will be easier to start scolding.

    I used to think that to give a scolding, you had to use anger and aggressive dominance... But now I know that I give my best scoldings when I'm calm and determined. I barely even need to raise my voice. The purpose of a scolding, for me, is to make Scally understand how I feel about what he has done, in a way that makes him feel safe enough to hear me, and feel my feelings. If I scream and shout, he will not feel safe. But if I take my time, stay calm but very firm, make sure I ask him questions so he fully understands -then I know he can be open to really hearing me. Because that way, I'm in control of my emotions.

    I suppose you could try scolding in German - your partner may not understand the words, but I'm sure he will understand your tone! That way, you can still express your feelings to him. What do you think?

    Machs gut :)

    Cathy x

  5. You should be more confident in yourself, Tina. It's not important that you English is perfect when you are scolding, just that it is heartfelt. Just go with the flow. If you're just about to put your man over your knees or if he is already in situ, then you've already got his full attention. I think you're worrying too much and that's getting in the way. You're a domme. You're in total charge of your man's bottom. Believe in yourself!Your English is already good enough to give a scolding which will make men quake in their boots.