Do you think being into this thing we do will ever go away? Is it possible to be interested in domestic discipline only for a period of time, but not for the whole life?
In my case, I have been into these things since I was a teenager. And I am pretty sure that I will be into it till I pass away. I never consciously chose to be interested in it. It is just something that "happened" to me.
I just always knew that it feels right, that it turns me on, that it makes me feel better. It took me a long time to finally get actively involved in the scene. But all these years I was dreaming of doing "it" one day. And when I finally did it, it felt great. I immediately felt at home and at peace. It was mind blowing. I can honestly say that all the experiences I made with my man were worth the long waiting.
It created such a deep level of belonging, trust and understanding between the two of us, that I am willing to spend the rest of my life with him, even if he should never want to get involved in it again. Which I am of course not hoping for!!!!
So, you men out there, what is your personal experience:
once a submissive always a submissive?
Hi Tina,
ReplyDeleteYes, from everything I've read, and from my own experience, I think that if one is a spanko, it's for life. The level of interest may wax and wane a bit, but it never really goes away.
I like how you described your feelings with regard to CP. I think most of us (whichever end of the hairbrush we're on) share many of those feelings.
Michael_Michael
Hi Michael. I like what you wrote. This means there is hope for me to have hot CP moments again :-)
ReplyDeleteMy interest in F/m is kind of strange. At heart/in mind... I'm not completely submissive. I know this about myself. I don't have some kind of "pain" fetish either. I'm extremely attracted to the kind of girl who WOULD spank me though. I think that's really what it is... the personality of a Domme. But here's the issue... only perhaps 1 in 20 whom I've ever met would challenge me in the way I would want.
ReplyDeleteI like the flirtatious banter of being with a girl who is as quick as I am intellectually, who is can "keep up" --- who is truly my equal in certain ways...
Does that make me submissive? I don't know. I'll be honest with you though... I have a hard time seeing myself being spanked by a gal once I reach 40. Even though it might be a turn on... something about it won't feel right, and I already sense that.
So in my case... I guess it will only be for a time, although I hope the relationship dynamic continues.
Hi Tina,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michael. Interest does come and go. But the basic way our brains have been conditioned remains the same. Major events can change or affect our brain programming but by your age it would have to be really huge and specific event to do that. Didn’t you say before you have lost your interest before, and yet now it has come back?
I think that any man, who is stressed by life, will have less interest. I think this is common and normal, and when 'life' is being hard or we are having to deal with really grown up stuff, then it is hard to be submissive or child like. It sort of hurts us if we are ‘little’ when we are having to deal with tough things.
I also think that it is impossible for him to surrender to DD at these times while you’re not living together. Until he is truly able to hand over the control to you and relax from being his own leader on a daily basis, knowing you will be there tomorrow and the next day, and will and can support him with discipline, then he has to keep being his own boss, his own leader. Is there any chance of you two living together soon? What is in the way? Is the plan you go to the states or will he come to Germany?
By the way, the impression I get reading your blogs is that he is very much a strong personality, and not a complete submissive. I think this is good. I think this means that you will have a strong partner who submits to your discipline because he wants it and YOU, rather than because he needs it.
Tim (scally)
Once you get into it and realize being submissive -it might be very early and even not knowing what it is- it becomes a major part of your life. You might hate it or love it. It may vanish for a short time or not. But you can't get rid of it. And when you learn to accept it it can be wonderful.
ReplyDelete