Wednesday, April 7, 2010

post spanking routine?

After answering litteraly dozens of questions and mails, I do myself have a question to all the men out there.

What am I supposed to do with you right after the punishment?

The reason behind that question is the following deliberation: I do read a lot of spanking stories. Fanfiction spanking stories if you want to know it in detail.

No worries, I am not going to force you to read this stuff, even though this might be a sound punishment for probably all men. ;-) Most of the stuff I read is written by women and most likely for women. And between the ladies there seems to be an understanding that the spankee should be held and kind of comforted after being chastised. For me, until now, such behaviour went without saying.

However, as far as my blog life goes, none of the men ever mentioned everything like this. I´ve been told many times how much a strong female hand is appreciated and how great an improvement in the man`s behaviour can be reached by the women being strict. But not one single man ever spoke about the need of being hold afterwards.

Let´s just say I did dress you down, gave you a spanking, you are crying (hey, this is my blog, I can choose any scenario I wish for), I ask you something very creative like: did you learn your lesson, you say: Yes Ma ám... and then? How are we going to proceed?

Write me your experiences, your hopes and your dreams as far as any post spanking routine is concerned.

10 comments:

  1. I followed that link to your reading material and was surprised to find that a great deal of it is male spanking male. Is that really what you enjoy reading? Hard to believe.

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  2. In general, I like reading fanfiction, as girlish as that sounds. It is just so, that quite a lot of these writers write M/m stories.

    However I am interested in the F/m stories. When posting that blog entry I was in quite a hurry and did not have the time to single out the "good ones" but posted the whole community link instead.

    Sorry if it lead to any confusion.

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  3. Hi Tina:
    The first thing after the spanking should be that the man thanks you for spanking him.
    To me, and most times Cindy, the problem is solved, the path is clear for us to be loving again. Most times Cindy becomes erotically charged with the power of being able to spank me, and I readily rise to the occasion (:-)
    We mostly hug, fondle, kiss and make love.
    A problem solved, and a love re-kindled.
    cheers
    red

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  4. The practice you refer to, where the submissive is nurtured and comforted after discipline is commonly called "aftercare". It's a wonderful expression of love and forgiveness after administering tearful discipline. Another common practice is corner time, where the submissive is sent to, if not marched there by the arm or ear, to the corner. While in the corner, it is assumed that the submissive will reflect on his behavior, which earned him the spanking, not to mention the stinging and throbbing in his bottom. No rubbing allowed, of course! This practice is very common in American spanking literature and domestic discipline relationships. I'd say both methods have their merits, depending on the circumstances and both have a certain charm or appeal.

    David

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  5. Tina,
    did you learn your lesson.......
    "Yes I did and thank you." At this time I would want a hug and a kiss and a reassurance that I am still loved and all is forgiven. Then I would want life to resume. eg:We are grilling tonight would you start the grill and we have company tommorow and need to pick up.......

    My fantasy:
    A woman has her realm, I have my realm and together we have our realm. I want no lingering resentment and no bickering. I offer control of the mutual life but not control of my work life.

    May sound strange but what I seek.

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  6. Hello Tina,

    I'm not sure if you are familiar with the book "A guide to the Correction of Young Gentlemen", by Alice Kerr-Sutherland (ISBN: 1-59654-322-1) This is an old classic about spanking from 1924.

    There is a whole chapter on what should happend after the spanking.

    Quote: "...the once you have admistered the last smack and allowed it to settle, gently turn the culprit so that he is sitting on, rather than lying across, your knee, and smoothe him quietly while he weeps, praising his bravery and explaining again the reason for the punishment. You may kiss away his tears if he quietens down. It is important the during this confort stage he is not allowed to dress himself; he must sit on your lap and be consoled in the same condition of nakedness the was visited upon him for his late punishment. In doing this you reduce him no matter what his real age, to a very small boy. Your influence is now stronger than ever before..."

    This point makes sense to me. Sigmund Freud would call this "Forced Regression" or "Induced Regression" (induzierte Regression) :-D

    Best regards from Germany

    Jan

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  8. I have only just joined blogger, and came across your blog pretty soon. I was skimming through your blog and this post was the first bit I read properly (by chance), so will reply to this one first.

    If the spanking has been a real one, a disciplinary one, then I imagine I would have been scolded a lot at the start (to make my mind get into the right place to take discipline and correction). This means that I would now be crying real tears of remorse (I sday this because I find it is the scolding that makes me feel remorseful and the spanking that brings it out). So I would now be very easy to direct. In fact I would need to be directed. If it was up to me to choose what I did, I would want to put my head on the lady's lap and just cry and cry. But it also feels important to me that I do something to 'show' I have been punished - to be seen as punished I mean. So from knowing how my mind works, it would be best if I was either bare bottomed in the corner for half an hour or so, or had to stay bare bottomed generally for a the rest of the evening (I mean, no clothing below the waist). I don't like either, they are embarrassing, but I know it helps me remember and take in the discipline past the point where my bottom hurts into the place where my ego hurts.

    Hope that makes sense and gives you some ideas.

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  9. Liebe Tina,

    I'm surprised that you need to ask. Your writing betrays such good sense and responsibility.

    I would be happy to have a strict friend like you. But I would expect you to know what to do after you have spanked me, and I am all sore, contrite and tearful.

    Love

    Gruffalo

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  10. @Gruffalo
    I did not know at the time, but do know now :-) I have learned quite a lot within the last months.

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